Am I the asshole for being upset in this situation:
My wife, her brother, and nephew, and I with our 2 year old son, go to the local pagoda, to pray to her father. Great. Done it, love it. Burn the incense. Donate.
Then we head to the car, and my wife says we are heading to another pagoda. Great. We get in the car. Start driving. After 30 mins i remark this one is far away, she says yeah. Turns out we are in for a total of 2 hour 45 min drive.
I say she never informed me of the distance, and that was not ok. We had a little spat around that, with her side being that it wasn’t necessary, saying fine you can sit around like at home doing nothing. My point being that nearly 3 hour drive is more than a short trip, and should be disclosed 1st. Mind you, I skipped breakfast, because I thought we would be back home by 10, we left at 815. I didn’t even bring anything but my phone.
Nta. She had no right to withhold that type of info from you. You have every right to be upset. Nonetheless i dont believe its worth it to argue any more about it. Whats done is done. Arguing isnt going to bring back that time you lost. However, let her know that from now on you need to know exactly how long these things are going to take so that you can plan accordingly.
All trips – short or long – should be discussed in advance. Especially when you’re travelling with a toddler. What exactly did she say? Did she tell you that you’d go there and back, did she give you any kind of time frame, and did she explicitly mention only one local pagoda?
NTA, anything over 30 mins needs to be disclosed imo, and she communicated the first place, she didn’t communicate the second until asked on purpose
NTA your wife is weird. Why would she think essentially a 6 hour round trip is ok without any prior warning or consent?
Why didn’t she have a conversation with you like a normal person.
“Hey, I wanted to go (location) today, do you mind tagging along?”