I (21F) has been living with my bf (20M) and his family for the past two years, we’ve been together for three. Since the beginning of our relationship he and his family wanted me to move in with them, I don’t know the main reason why I think his parents were just being supportive for their son. I warned them since the very beginning I have a dog, he’s a pitbull, at the time he was only a couple months old my family and I found him as a stray alongside his brother. According to him they didn’t mind as long as I kept up with his cleaning. They already at a family dog at the time, so I didn’t think too much of it. During the summer of 2024 I noticed my bfs parents started to say things about the dogs a lot, that they smell, they’re dirty, they bark. I understood where they were coming from because that’s what it means to own dogs, I swept and mopped everyday, I kept up with my dogs bathing weekly, wiped their paws before they come inside, but that wasn’t enough. His parents started to despise the dogs, to the point where they had to kick out the family dog (he belonged to his sister but she wasn’t taking care of it anymore so she gave him to a friend). Knowing that information my bf warned me that if we don’t take care of my dog, they’re not gonna want him here either. Ever since I’ve had this anxiety of them saying something about my dog so I became a helicopter parent even more. He mainly stays in the room and I only let him outside when nobody is around, but don’t worry he gets his potty times and play times since I’m always left at the house by myself. They’ve tried to get my bf to convince me to place my dog outside. Personally, I don’t believe in having a dog you just place outside, that’s no way a dog should live so I’ve tried my best to expose my dog to a happy life. Today my bf brought up the topic again, my dogs hair is everywhere, he’s getting too big, he sometimes interrupts our intimacy, I’ve been dealing with a lot of self issues so I blew up at him and told him I have no say in anything at the end of the day, all I asked was my dog stays inside but what does anyone care. I’ve been crying since that conversation, because I just look like the bad person, I understand this isn’t my household, and I have no say in what they decide, but I just want my baby with me. When I became unemployed he was all I had, he’s my motivation to getup every morning, he makes me laugh, he gives me purpose. Placing him outside makes me worried he’ll get sick somehow or run off or even cause more problems. If anyone has dogs outside or inside I would appreciate some advice, maybe I’m looking at this the wrong way, how can I solve this issue. Please share any tips.
NTA I have no real tip or advice but F that and F them.
For me, dogs shouldn’t be left outside like that especially when they are inside now! That’s depressing af.
NTA. I agree that dogs are part of the family and shouldn’t just be put outside and forgotten about. It definitely sounds like your boyfriend’s parents don’t want any dogs in the house and are pushing him to convince you to leave your dog outside. You’re going above and beyond with cleaning, however it appears as though you may need to find somewhere else to live if push comes to shove.
Yup I wouldn’t trust people like that she can’t be with the dog 24/7 what if they try to get rid of him when she’s not home😬 I’ve seen it happen before and then they can never locate their dog again😔
NTA, I think keeping dogs outside all the time is wrong too (unless they prefer it), and it sounds like you were told it would be OK when you moved in and now the rules are changing. Unfortunately, while it sucks that they would do that, it’s their house and I don’t see any reasonable course for you other than moving out.
NTA. They told you it was fine at the beginning and you moved in trusting that was the case. I can’t imagine someone telling me to leave my dog outside 100% of the time – there are so many things that could happen, and if he’s used to being by your side, he may not cope well at all (not to mention how awful it sounds like you would feel as well).
IMO the best way to handle this is a direct conversation with your bf and his family. Remind them that they assured you it was okay that you had a dog when you moved in. If they continue to be passive aggressive or don’t respect your boundaries, it might be time to find another living situation.
I feel like that time is now, this conversation has happened more than once and I feel like him as my partner continues to ask me, he doesn’t care about what I think and probably has his parents in his ear about it
That’s really tough, I’m sorry you’re in this position. It sounds like you know what the right call is at this point but that doesn’t make it any easier. Sending you (and your pup) big hugs – you’ll get through this ♥️♥️
Thank you so much 😭🫶🏼
NTA! I would straight up move out and get my own place. Does your boyfriend have any desire to move out of his family’s home? I’d end a relationship before I abandoned my dog or allowed anyone to coerce me into giving them up.
I don’t even know for a while I thought he wasn’t but even his parents are pushing him to move out, our neighbors want him to purchase their property and rebuild a home because the house had burned down. Who knows how long that’s going to be though.
NTA I wouldn’t want to live anywhere my dog isn’t welcome and would have to be confined to a room that’s not fair. Honestly wouldn’t even want to associate with people who don’t like dogs. I would tell them you only moved in there because they said the dog was welcome then suddenly changed their minds so maybe moving is a better option😬
NTA! Take the dog and move out! I can’t imagine leaving my dogs outside all day!
Not you. A dog is your protection and a family member. And is a messy PITA at times. But the love of a dog is priceless and irreplaceable.
NTA. Can you get into a roommate situation and move out? You and your pup need to be out of that house. Your bf and his parents are weird about the dog and they are escalating. It won’t get better.