So recently, my (19M) friend (20M) has broken up with his long term Gf(20F) of 4 years, and since has been acting pretty weird towards just about everyone. For starters, he’s been following us around like a lost puppy and I understand missing his girlfriend, but sometimes it feels like he wants me to be a replacement. Also he’s been making our girl friends uncomfortable. some examples are- in playing charades, he got the word ‘wh\*re’ and decided to point to my friend’s girlfriend. Thankfully she didn’t seem to notice, but he did and it made him upset. we tried to call him on it but he acted like it was no big deal. This griped me but I moved on.
Recently, we all went out to a bar and had a few girls with us. he did a few things that made us upset with him. One thing that happened was when I was talking to the girls, I asked them which bar they like better- for context we are sophomores and i asked if they liked the bar we were at or the ‘freshman bar’ we went to last year. He then butted in and told the girls that I must love the ‘freshman bar’ because I love "cracking fruzz". First off this is genuinely not true and felt extremely unnecessary to say. more than that it seemed like it was meant to ruin my chances with them which I don’t get. furthermore, at the bar we go to, there’s a funny vending machine with porno mags, gag gifts, etc. One of our girl friends was having fun playing the machine and he went up to her and said "I bet youre trying to win the vibrator". she looked at us- idk if she was uncomfortable but that was the last time she played it for the night – and it seemed like she was having fun before hand.
another girl friend of ours drunkenly talked about her butt in the uber and for some odd reason he like probed her about it. Asking numerous questions. She was drunk and I don’t think she really cared, but I find it odd myself.
I called him out on all of these things in front of the friend group, and he was really defensive and denied it all. my friends backed me up and he got more defensive and yelled "f\*ck you guys" and stormed off. This was yesterday. Today we brought it up again at lunch and he basically told me I needed to get over it and it wasn’t a big deal.
I understand that he doesn’t think he’s being odd or that maybe the girls don’t either, but this is behavior that we’ve noticed as his friends and we’re worried about it.
AITAH for calling him out? …. am I reading into stuff that doesn’t matter?
NTA. Sounds like he’s rather bitter and taking it around on anyone near him.
NTA your friend is being a creep! Stop invinting him out if he keep behaving like that.
Calling him out publicly might’ve bruised his ego, but silence would’ve enabled it. NTA.
You’re NTA to call out a creep. WTF is ‘cracking fruzz’?
I’m guessing it’s akin to “busting cherries.”
I actually figured it out online. It means hooking up (cracking) with freshmen hussies (Fruzz).
Calling him out for being needy of your time right now, in front of other people, would’ve been wrong/rude. People are often needy right after a breakup, and this is something best discussed in private, if at all.
Calling him out for being an A-Hole and a terrible Wing-Man was completely right, though. Keep doing it.
You’re not the asshole at all. Behavior like that should be checked immediately.
Sounds like your “friend” has fallen into some involuntary celibacy rabbit holes.
nta keep calling him out. hopefully he’ll get the message and learn from his behavior. if he doesn’t and stops hanging around, no big loss. he sounds like a misogynistic creep and will definitely at the very least ruin your whole friend groups chance at having any women willing to hang around yall.
NTA, I don’t care if you are going through a break up or some things messed up , it doesn’t give you a free pass to be an asshole, yes I understand it might be a hard time and he’s trying his best to socialize, but did he just forget all meaning of boundaries and limits. It’s definitely the right thing to call him out now , for all you know tomorrow he could do something out of control which is borderline sexual harrasment, all of you have to be stern with him to make him realise that this kind of behaviour is not acceptable whatsoever , if he continues to brush it off then i would consider kicking him out of the group, I can understand expecting people to be sensitive when you are going through a bad phase but expecting them to just accept your creepiness and weird behaviour is unreasonable.
NTA. As a man, I’m tired of seeing guys not keeping their friends accountable for their actions due to some bravado or bro code. Let’s not pretend that men aren’t aggressors. We all know a women that has been sexually harrassed/assaulted by a man, guys that say its not true don’t actually talk to women. Behaviour like that left uncheck just creates the next generation of Andrew tate/trump/epstein sexual predators with no semblance of humanity. However, I think after the accountability, Its important to talk to him in a sort of intervention with the other guys. A compassionate talk. I sincerely think that guys are more reactive than women, and a sudden feeling of being attacked by who may be his only friends, that actually don’t have the same red pilled views as him, might result in him doubling down on his messed up view, without anyone else keeping him in check. That can be dangerous for everyone in the long run.
Try speaking to him privately, which you should’ve done the first time. It’s easier to have a dialogue with one person than a whole group. He seems really inept socially, so you’re doing him a favor by calling out the times when he’s saying crude or misogynistic crap. You and your friends don’t want that reflecting on you. Maybe that’s why his gf broke up with him.
fr tho sounds like he needs to chill and realize he aint the main character anymore