I (31)F am an academic advisor for a mid-sized university. I have 400 students on my caseload, and I try to do my best for all of them.
I am off today and tomorrow for the Thanksgiving holiday. I let all my students know ahead of time that I would be out of the office and made sure they had resources should something come up, but I’m trying not to answer my emails to enjoy the holiday with my family.
I got an urgent email from a student saying she’s being thrown out of the dorms and has nowhere to stay with her stuff. I only know about it because she went on social media ranting and raving that her useless advisor has screwed her over and left her alone during the holidays.
I’m trying to be logical and calm and still enjoy the holiday, but I’m still feeling like I could have done more to help this student. Even if I wanted to help her, I’m out of state and away from the systems that could assist her.
AITAH?
NTA. You’re entitled to a day off. There’s no reason for her to believe you would even see the email on Thanksgiving. The university should have a system in place to deal with emergencies.
Do you have 24/7/365 student availability mandated into your job duties? No matter what the issue, academic or not? If so, then YTA as far as this student is concerned.
IF not, and you have time off and vacations aligned in your job descriptions, there should be resources she can contact for emergency help.
INFO: Why is an “advisor” dealing with what seems to be infractions and a disciplinary response to a student’s bad behaviors? Vs. campus police, dorm RA’s and the like?
Advisors aren’t supposed to, but because we are pushed as the “bridge that connects students to the campus” students think that means we are magicians that can solve everything for them.
NTA…You have days off like everyone else. You’re an academic advisor, not her parent or life coach.
NTA you took a normal holiday off, gave notice, and can’t fix housing issues from out of state. Her crisis isn’t your fault, and she’s just lashing out. You didn’t do anything wrong
you didn’t do anything wrong. she hit a crisis and needed someone to blame, and you were the easiest target. but it’s not on you to be on call 24/7, especially during a holiday. the school has emergency contacts for a reason
NTA but good on you for caring that much that youd want to help on your holiday. She’s just lashing out because this is a catastrophe and she needs someone to blame.
NTA
You’re an academic advisor and not responsible for housing issues. She needs to contact Residents Life about housing issues. If she can’t reach anyone at Res Life, you wouldn’t be able to either.
At many US colleges, residence halls close down for Thanksgiving Break. They are usually pretty clear that students need to contact Res Life if they need accomodations of any sort during that time.
This is not your problem. Set it aside. Wait to respond on Monday and tell her that housing issues need to be taken up with Res Life. Include the appropriate contact for Res Life.
iirc my dorms stayed open for thanksgiving but closed to students for winter break but we could leave our stuff in our room. My sisters university closed for holidays and required everything be moved out for winter break. Both schools gave more than ample notice of how breaks were handled in multiple methods of communication.
It’s reasons like this why I have seperate social media accounts (1 personal, 1 professional) and I don’t open work emails or answer work calls when I’m not working.
NTA. You’re not working, you’re not on call and there’s nothing you can do. Enjoy your thanksgiving and deal with this when you’re back at work
NTA, if shes getting thrown out on Thanksgiving she must have done something seriously egregious. You probably wouldnt have been able to help her anyways.
This isn’t an academic issue. Not your circus, even if she’s your monkey.
Info; what kind of post-secondary institution puts housing issues onto an academic advisor?
And I seriously hope you aren’t following all 400 of your students on social media, good way to burn out.
Nta (if this is real)
1) NTA
2) This belongs on r/Professors
3) How long have you been doing this job? Most of us in academia have developed enough of a callus to roll our eyes when students blame us for something that is completely outside our purview and control. Blaming your advisor for your housing and dining situation is as ridiculous as blaming the postman or the lunch lady.
4) If she’s ranting on social media, don’t worry. Social media will sort her out. (See above reasons why.)
5) You absolutely DO NOT address this on your holiday. You might need to stay out of it ALTOGETHER. Whatever insanity miss thing did to get kicked out of the dorm is NOT your circus. If you simply must answer her to restore your peace, do NOT embroil yourself any further than, “Here are resources for Student Life, Appeals, local shelters/housing.” DO NOT TRY TO FIX IT FOR HER. You are likely to get tangled in an epic mess.
6) Remember, OP, these are adults. It IS our job to help guide them to become functional adults and provide them resources. It is NOT our responsibility to solve all their problems, remove all their consequences, or clean up their messes.
Go love on your family and yourself. You deserve respite. Don’t let this suck life out of your joy.