My husband and I were asked to drop by our nephew’s house whenever we are in town to visit my mom to help him and his wife teach their 7-month-old puppy not to get excited when they have visitors. We have been invited to their home twice in the past couple of years, the second being on Christmas day and meeting their puppy for the first time.
The puppy was kept away from us until the last ten minutes of our visit because they could hear her whining from the other room and didn’t feel she was ready to meet us. When they did allow us to meet her after my husband asked if we could, they instructed us in how to properly pet the puppy and when she got too excited, they would walk away with her until she "settled."
They live 1 1/2 hours from us, and I only make it to visit with my mom every few months. She usually prefers to visit at our house.
Our nephew texted me a few days after Christmas saying it would be sweet and appreciated if I would come by to visit the dog when I was there to visit my mom. I explained that my time was limited when I was in town and that they should not count on us to be available for puppy training.
My thinking is that they should ask this of their friends that would actually be visiting on a more regular basis rather than expecting me to take time out of visiting with my mom every few months. The puppy is adorable, and I would love to play with her during family visits with my husband. I have suggested working with a professional trainer, but they were not open to that idea.
AITAH for thinking this is unreasonable and that it’s okay for puppies to whine for attention?
NTA. They’re asking you to take time away from visiting your mom to help train their dog when you’re only in town every few months, that’s ridiculous. If they need regular visitors for socialization training they should ask friends who actually live nearby or hire a professional like you suggested.
NTA it’s a strange request
NTA. Training is not a few hours and nothing for months. It is a constant job. Maybe you could teach them how totrain their puppy?
NTA – but do you not want to see your nephew when you’re in town? It doesn’t sound like he expects it of you if you don’t, but it would be nice if you did. If I was only in town every few months, I would want to see my nephews/nieces while in town. Maybe try and combine a visit tot heir house with your mom? Or plan to go out to eat by their house and
I think that you are NTA. I don’t think it sounds like they are going about training correctly based on my experience training my dog with 2 professional trainers (my dog did deal with some issues surrounding greetings that we worked on). It’s sad that they aren’t open to the idea of involving a professional because I do think it would help them a lot in this situation.
NTA. The only ones responsible for training a puppy is its owner(s) or a professional dog trainer. Yes, it is normal for puppies to whine for attention. Enjoy your visit with your mom. If you want to visit your nephew and pup, do so. But you aren’t in any obligation to do so. As Reddit loves to say, “No is a complete sentence.”
NAH. You don’t have to spend time helping train the puppy. Your nephew can indeed ask someone else.
Just know that people who think like you are the reason it is difficult for those of us wishing to be responsible dog owners to train our dogs to behave in society. It’s not ok for someone’s dog to bark or whine (or jump, or paw, etc) at people for attention. It’s annoying and potentially dangerous. It creates dogs that have to stay home, or remain unsocialized, and have less fulfilling lives. Improperly trained dogs are less likely to have forever homes. I commend your nephew for trying
Edit: a word
Edit 2: corrected abbreviation
You mean NAH
Lots of shelters have “canine good citizenship” classes that the nephew can attend to get his dog trained on being around people and other dogs. They’re often cheaper than hiring a private trainer. If they’re not willing to put forth that effort, they’re lazy and not ready for the responsibility of doggy ownership. NTA. You come infrequently and a puppy needs consistent and FREQUENT training for his little forgetful brain.
NTA it is unreasonable that they ask you to go out of your way for their benefit.
I do want to be clear that the way they are training their puppy is the correct way to do so. Getting a trainer would be pointless as the trainer would just tell them to do what they are already doing. The dog just needs to practice.
They should be asking people that are already frequent visitors or aren’t 1 1/2 hours away.
NTA. They need to get a local trainer.
NTA
I asked friends and neighbors to come into my home to help my dog with socialization training. Absurd you would drive three hours for this
NAH they can ask, you can say no. As long as they don’t flip, I would not think it’s outrageous.