The other night, I was hanging out with a friend, and prior to me leaving she asked me what I was doing on Sunday. With it being the weekend and most of my assignments out of the way, I replied with the usual ‘nothing’, to which she asked if I’d want to chill at her place and watch TV like we normally do. I told her sure and that I’d text her whenever I got up.
On Sunday I got up at around 3ish and responded to a text she had sent me an hour earlier. She told me to come over now, and I told her I at least wanted to freshen up and wash my hair, letting her know I could be there around 4:30. She kept insisting I didn’t need to do that because no one in her apartment cares about me walking around looking like a mess, but I personally hate it when I do. I never show up anywhere without freshening up and looking presentable. When 4:30 came and I wasn’t at her place, she went off on me saying I ‘had all day’, and that ‘I didn’t have to get ready’ and how I’m acting like it’s paris fashion week (lol). Mind you, we live in the same apartment building and she lives a floor below me. We hang out every day and she knows I always freshen up before going literally anywhere.
Does this make me the asshole? I feel like it would be different if we were actually planning on going out and doing stuff, but I’m literally just watching TV at her house. Does me being a little late make that big of a difference?
edit for context: I ended up not showing up at her place because I had gotten irritated with her! at 4:20 she texted me saying i had 10 minutes left to get ready. I told her I just got out of the shower and that I can’t wash my hair in 10 minutes (I literally can’t), and she replied with ‘right, and that’s my fault, you’ve had all day, fuck you’, and reiterated how i didn’t even have to get ready.
NTA.
INFO: What time did you finally show up? You said 4:30 but weren’t there at that time. So were you five minutes late or was she waiting another hour for you? (And you were up at 3, so how long does it take you to get ready to go to an apartment in the same building?)
YTA. Main character syndrome.
Well, I guess you don’t have to worry about that friendship, because you burned it to the ground.
Mild ESH for both of you – If I thought my friend was coming over to spend time on Sunday, I would think they were coming over Sunday afternoon. After I’d spent all afternoon waiting for them, I’d be PO’d. How would you have felt if you’d texted her at 2, and she didn’t call back until three to say it would be another 1.5 hours – then she still wasn’t ready for you to come over and hadn’t told you.
On the other hand, if she knew you always sleep until 3 in the afternoon (really??? are you depressed?), she should have been prepared not to see you until evening.
Do yourself and your friend a favor – set a time for when you’ll meet and both of you be prompt. Don’t make nebulous plans.
YTA. It’s best you two aren’t friends anymore so it’s solved anyway
NTA, she was being peremptory.
NTA you said you’d text her when you got up and you did.
NTA – but in all honesty, you lost me at “I got up at 3ish”.
WTF did I just read?
You both suck, people with responsibilities sleep until 3PM?
Holy f, all y’all need lives 😃
“y’all need lives” and i’m literally a full-time college student who works a job … ok buddy 😭 i pay for my college tuition out of pocket, i think i have my fair share of responsibilities.
YTA… why does it take an hour and a half to freshen up?? I hate waiting around for people. And it’s even worse that at 4:20 you still barely got out of the shower. You couldn’t even make it at 4:30 and she lives below you. That’s nonsense
INFO: Do you usually sleep that late on a Sunday (and does your friend know that) or would she have expected you’d be awake sometime in the morning?
What time was she expecting you? Can’t really make a judgement without knowing if you were actually late.