My (30M) sister (26F) just broke up with her bf and needs a place to stay. I have a 2-bedroom apartment. One is my bedroom, the other is my dedicated office (I work from home 100%). My parents are blowing up my phone saying I’m selfish for not putting a bunk bed in my office for her kids (4 and 6) and working from the kitchen table. I told them no. They can stay in the living room on air mattresses or she can find somewhere else. Now I’m ‘ruining the family.’ AITAH?
NTA, it’s your house and job! You are already doing a big favour by letting them use the living room
Nta. at all.
NTA at least OP offered to help her, she should be grateful
If you are working from the kitchen table, do your parents expect your sister to keep her kids in the ‘office’ all day? Or will they be running around the apartment while you are trying to work in the chaos? It’s easier for OP to have an office door to shut to keep out the noise. OP, remind your parents that your work is the only thing keeping a roof over your head. If they think they could put up with the chaos, then THEY should take in your sister and her kids.
NTA
NTA. Your parents can take them in.
Yea why can’t your parents take them in actually?
NTA, if they’re so concerned they can host her and their grandchildren.
NTA, that’s literally your source of income, and it’s not like your not welcoming them in your house, just not in your office. Also, why can’t your parents take them??
No. Tell your parents to let her stay with them.
NTA. They can move in with your parents surely??
Why cant they stay with your mom? She can get the bunk beds
NTA. This is her mess. Not yours.
If you can’t work properly… it means no money.
No money means no bunk beds anywhere.. not even in the livingroom.
NtA.
Guests don’t have choice in my house.
NTA. Your sister is trying to use you to fix her mess. Sister is also using your parents to bully you into complying with her wants.
It seems your sister is complaining to them about how you are not willing to upend your house to accommodate her and her children. Guests take what is offered, guests do not get to run a home that is not theirs. Sister wants parents to do her dirty work and is rallying support to manipulate/bully/guilt you into giving her more than you are willing to. Not really adulting on her own when it comes to getting what she wants and doesn’t take no for an answer. Adding beds means she plans on staying with you for an extended period of time and wants to ‘put them to bed’ in a separate room rather than having them all sleep together in the same area. Who is suppose to buy these beds for the kids, do they not already have beds from the boyfriends place?
Tell your parents: Since they want to be involved, sister and kids can go live with them. That way they can rearrange their home and buy furniture to accommodate sister and her kids (if applicable add) since they have more room.
Your sister is going to be a huge pita to you. Hold your terms on this and everything else she wants to commendeer from you.
When she threatens to leave, and she will, pause a few seconds and tell her “I agree, this is for the best. Thank you for seeing this before me and being brave enough to verbalize YOUR conclusion. Where should we start with the packing.”
Ask the parents why they can’t have their grandkids and daughter stay with them.
“You’re being selfish”
No. I’m making sure I can continue to make a living.