ok so I 14(F) went to homecoming with my brother’s best friend 15(M) let’s call him b. he is also my friend and i have known him since i was in 7th grade (im in 9th grade now) and he was in 8th grade (he’s in 10th grade now)
ok so now into the story. he asked me to homecoming the day before homecoming, now I thought we were going as friends (we also went in a group with my brother and his gf and her bff and another friend) so the night before homecoming my brother told me that he asked my brother if it would be wired for me and him to date. My brother told me that I don’t like him like that ( I’m glad he did) and to not ask me out. so we were all hanging out and dancing ( my brother forced me to hang out and dance with b ( i was scared bc i thought he liked me) so i did) i told him that i want to go into the mosh pit thing and he said he would go with me. The rest of the group was in line for lemanaid. so we went to do a line dance and he said "do you want to be my girlfriend" I stopped and said "what?" and then ( i don’t really know what happened next it all happened so fast) so then i kinda just ran to my brothers gf and started crying and told them what happened. I avoided him the rest of the night. but we gave him a ride home
so a couple months later i stopped hanging out with the group bc of him but my brother had his 16th birthday (he’s also in 10th grade) birthday party in november (homecoming was in october) so me and another friend got him alone to ask if he still liked me ( i wanted to hang out with them again) and he said " i will not pursue you but if you want to date i would say yes" and i said "ok" and we went back to the party.
So AITAH for the way I handled this??
Edit: also I had told the group on "accident" who i like be for we went to the dance
NTA, you handled it as best as a 14 yearold should be expected to handle it. Just don’t be afraid to say no to B if you’re not interested, and tell your brother that you want B to back off if B doesn’t respect your wishes.
The problem is that him and my brother are REALLY close like our parents know eachother and stuff but I try to just not ignore him but not really interact with him and definitely announce who I like to the group
It doesn’t matter how close B and your brother are. If you don’t want to go out with B, he should respect that. Your brother and your parents will only care about what you need, not what B wants. Don’t be afraid to say no to B. It won’t be your fault if this hurts the friendship between B and your brother. It will be B’s fault for not respecting his best friend’s sister.
Thank you for that I do think my brother would tell him to back off if I was uncomfortable but I dont think I can but I really want to tho thanks tho 😊
The spelling is “since” just so you know. Ok, off to read your post now.
Oh lol thanks 😊
You were only 14 years old! No, you were not an AH for the way you handled it. It sounds like you were overwhelmed and probably confused and a little scared since your brother had already told him no to dating you. And what was his concept of “dating” a 14-year-old little girl? A 16-year-old guy should not be dating a 14-year-old. Hanging out as friends when your brother and other people were there is fine if you were ok with that but I know 16 year old boys typically want to do more than just hang out and talk. The age difference matters when you are that young. I know girls mature faster than boys, but the age difference still isn’t good when you are so young.
Well my brother is 16 b is 15 but I get what u mean I dont think that was his intention tho bc his like the nerdy kind guy if u know what I mean (not trying to be mean)
I think it’s a bit much to be calling this out as an age gap relationship.
You think a 16 year old boy is a good match for a 14 year old girl? I raised a boy. I had 16 year old boys over at the house daily. I wouldn’t want my 14 year old girl dating one of them! 18 and 20, no problem. But a 14 year old shouldn’t be dating anyone yet.
Again my brother is 16 B the boy that asked me out is 15 also i think 14 year olds should definitely be allowed to date bc at that point there in high-school
I grew up with 5 older brothers and our house was the hang out house, so constantly surrounded by boys of all ages, and am pretty sure I understand what teenage boys are like, and whilst there are some I wouldn’t have wanted my daughter to date, there are others that I would not have been bothered by.
Also, OP clarified that the friend was only 15, reducing the age gap even more, and realistically I think dating one of your brothers nerdy friends is probably not a huge issue.
That being said I agree that 14 is too young for serious dating.