I am 15M, I don’t have dad, my grandpa and grandma passed away when I was kid.
However,I still got my great grandad(95yo) he is great, always supports me, and gives me pocket money.
Last time I visited him, he couldn’t eat hy himself, walk by himself and was talking about some weird stuff(some story that happened in the early 50s’), even forgot me for a moment saying my name over and over trying to remember(he doesn’t have any kind of memory problem) Also, he keeps saying that he is not home and he asks us to drive him home(he thinks he is in some kind of Soviet sanatorium)
I am not an expert, but I have a feeling that’s not right and he might die soon. If he dies, I won’t have a person that I can talk to like to a father, male support. (Im asking men because only yall can give me some good advice on any topic)
Male support and father figures can come from so many places. A lot of men want to pass on knowledge of skills, passions, life etc. Neighbours, social clubs, sports, friends parents, teachers….
You can pick up things from all of those people and piece together what makes sense to you. You see someone that commands respect, how…observe, ask them. You see someone compassionate, same again.
We dont have to learn from good examples, we can learn from bad examples. The only thing that matters is your willingness to learn and not wallow in self pity.
Edit: I met some dude in the sauna and he influenced me greatly, another ice skating. There are a lot of good men out there; that want to pass on things, converse and also learn from you and your passions.
Well if you have friends and other relatives, i hope it will be enough.
A father figure can be an uncle, older brother, even neighbour.
Anyone that you trust basicly.
Figure out a way that is not frustrating for him to snap him back to reality.
Share those instances of memory lapse with the medical provider.
In general, advanced age and frailty don’t contribute to each other positively. Focus on the good memories, interact with him and have him remember the goodies but also the lessons he taught you.
Your great grandfather is likely showing signs of Alzheimer’s, commonly also referred to as dementia.
If no one has had the courage to clearly tell you what is going on with him, he is going through the mental decline many people have gone through in their advanced years. Many people think it’s just memory loss, but it is a physical deteriorating of the person’s brain. The part no one warns you about is the drastic personality changes that come with it. The disease process whittles away the part of the brain that governs your emotional responses, so you should expect him to possibly show some radically different behaviors at times. His brain is slowly losing the parts that hold the hedonistic and “fight or flight” portions. There is no cure for it, and it will get worse over time until he passes.
If me saying that is a bit blunt and upsetting, I get it. I went through the same thing with my grandfather. It’s one of the hardest things you will do as someone that loves an elderly person suffering through dementia. The reason I’m being blunt is because I want you to know that the emotional outbursts aren’t something you did, and they’re not some underlying personality that he has been hiding from you.
Your great grandpa loves you, and if it gives you something to hold onto through the tough parts know that there might still be a little bit of him peeking through the veil at you. He cannot help what’s happening to him, and it’s your family’s very tough job to love him despite what he may say on the worst days.
There are age and disease related things that could be going on with him. Alzheimer’s and dementia come to mind.
At 95, it’s safe to say your great grandfather has more years behind him than in front of him. There are some facts of life that cannot be changed and death is on of them. Doesn’t sound like it’s going to happen tomorrow, but you might want to just make the best of the time you have left.
Spend time asking about family history. His life and his children’s lives from his point of view. The stories are what you will miss the most when they’re gone.
If you really need to have a male figure in your life, I would suggest you explore scouting. Camping, outdoor activities and leadership skills with a number of men that are sharing their time because their kids are or were involved.
Just be there at the end. Don’t let him die alone. No brother deserves to die alone.
His mind is going and at 95 his time is short. Be patient. Be family. Be human.