Hey guys, 28M going back to school(Community College) full time next semester(currently only doing part time).
Been feeling pretty hopeless about dating lately. I lost tons of weight and am currently in the best shape of my life with visible abs and decent muscle. My finances are in order as a forklift operator and i’m putting myself through school while also paying for my own place.
Unfortunately despite that I have no luck with my love life. I don’t mean to project insecurities but it feels as though women I meet seem “icked” by the fact i’m still putting myself through school. If not an “Ick” definitely a tone shift when I let them know. These women aren’t gold diggers either just average college educated women, some which haven’t graduated themselves yet.
Am I just doomed to be lonely until my early 30’s when my career is established? Feels depressing not building with someone in the current position i’m in and having to wait several years.
Definitely not, lol. You’re 28, not 68. There’s plenty of time left to establish a career and find someone.
Dawg I know some dudes living in their aunties basement and use their GFs car to go cheat…
Yes it can dissuade some people but there’s plenty of women who wouldn’t. I would advise to work on yourself and not out dating as a priority. This doesn’t mean you should block all chances though.
No, learn to enjoy the process and you will attract women before you are ready to settle down.
I would just say keep looking, if you’re life is squared away in every way and you’re going to school, any woman using you being in school as the excuse likely has red flags, moreso if they themselves are in school.
Unless they just aren’t attracted to you, (which may be possible) any normal person should see going to school as self improvement and a good thing. Thats just the opinion of an introvert who hasn’t bothered looking for a while as I’m getting my life in order right now.
Definitely not.
My friend started going through school again in his 30s. He had sex once in his late 20s, and had never had a date in his life. He works part time at a grocery shop. Lately he has been seeing someone and getting it regular. Still in school, a minimum wage part time job, lives with his parents still. He is not what I would consider remotely attractive, although he has the kindest heart of anyone I know.
Insecurity is off-putting and you’re projecting your own insecurities onto others. Work on your social skills and you’ll be able to get into a relationship. Once you’ve got options you realize that you don’t want girls that are like that anyway, judgemental etc, and you’ll be able to find someone whose values align with your own.
No, you’re not doomed, not even close. A lot of women will see it as a green flag that you’re on the right path getting more education etc.
Sometimes it *feels* doomed, lonely, like no one wants you. But it’s just your mind playing tricks, as well as the nature of statistics, where sometimes you get a dry spell. Just try to trust the process.
You’re only 28. You’re headed back to school. It’s possible you might meet someone there
When I got divorced 8 was taking 2 years off from dating. Started a welding class, worked as many hrs as possible and started hitting the gym heavy. Those were the most productive 2 years of my life. Your not responsible for anyone but yourself rn so take advantage while you can.
Holy fuck, I hope not. I’m 34 and starting over after giving my 20s to a marriage that was never going to work.
If you’re fucked, then what the hell is there to say about me? Don’t quit, asshole. I need hope too lol
It’s not over until you are in the ground
In my opinion, you’re just looking at the wrong women. Women who don’t respect making something of yourself aren’t worth your time. Maybe try women who are different than you normally pursue.
Went to college at 22 and dropped out. Went to work. Met my GF/Wife at 30. I was a hard working dude. She was a no nonesense chick beyond the “Chicken Head’ stage. We clicked. I went back to school (nights/weekends) and finished by 32.
With experience and a degree completed, career took off like a rocket. Keep grinding and schooling – it will pay off. Dating is not the priority and can become a distraction if you let it.
Met mine at 30 dude. I’m now 33, make 75k, in the best shape of my life and we live together. It’ll happen when it happens. It tends to happen when you stop caring so much about it.
You’re 28 is still considered young in dating for men. Already in community college which is a one of the best environment to meet single women. Plus having stability & physique isn’t too hard to attract.
With all the advantages, the problem is probably your mindset. “Love life over at 28.” “Doomed to be lonely.” Don’t be gloomy & depressing. That is repellent to both men and women.