This is my first time ever posting anything so here we go. My boyfriend and I have been together for about a year. The first 4 months were great but things started to turn sideways after that. I remember in April he went out for drinks with his friends and that was the first time a realised there might be a problem. So he was out and I was asleep and then woke up to several text messages from him saying that he is asleep in my hallway infront of my door. When i opened the door i realised he was laying there and basically still drunk at 8 am in the morning and looking super distraught. I was really shocked by the whole thing but thought maybe this only happened once. I was wrong.
The exact same thing happened in June – on this evening he also lost his glasses and the keys to my home and my neighbour found him sleeping in my hallway in the morning (again super drunk still and also wet because i guess he also fell). He then proceeded to cry his eyes out in my arms telling me he and his brother have the exact same issue with alcohol because of their mom (their mom really is an alcoholic). Then he tried to pack all his things and leave me out of shame and guilt. Then there were like 3 other times that i know of this year were he was so drunk that he blacked out. Its not always and sometimes he can go out for a drink or two and then home but not always and it also induces anxiety for me around social events because i am scared he will embarrass me. Tbh i think this is also the reason i didnt want to celebrate my 25th birthday.
In the last 3 months everything was fine but i started to nag about the smallest things that normally are not at all an issue for me (opening doors for me etc). He is really trying and is super sweet and also stopped smoking for me because my mother haa lung cancer and this triggers me. On NYE we got in a fight about something stupid and i have to say it was my fault because i again nagged about something small. He snapped and packed all his things and left me alone and i cried all night. When he came back he was blackout drunk again and in the morning he broke up with me because of my constant criticism of him in certain areas (door opening etc). I am starting to think my weird criticism might be resentment from his drinking issue. Idk if i am overreacting though and i love him very much and he now wants to get back together. Does his behaviour sound like an alcoholic to you? I really love him but i cannot be a mommy for a grown man my whole life and now am thinking about leaving or staying. My whole family loves him, he is very succesful in his family business and can probably give me everything someone could wish for (from the outside). I dont know if i am making a mistake leaving him and if i am a horrible person for my constant nagging or if i am valid. Also everytime a binge drink happened i asked if he could go see a therapist and he said yes of course and then never did. Pls help me.