Original post: https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/s/S26CJM6n6i
Hi, thanks for all the comments in my post. They were eye opening and super helpful. After reading them I’d decided to be ok with us choosing his grandfather’s name instead of his. The comments had made the important point that though I’d never met him he was clearly important to my husband. And as much as I wanted my husband’s name as the middle name, it was a good way to honor him.
Yesterday morning I told him that I was on board with using his grandfather’s name as the middle name. I didn’t pout or anything I want to make that clear, I just genuinely said that if he wants that, then I’m ok with it. He asked me if I was sure, and I said yeah.
Then last night he spoke to me about it again, and said if I preferred his name as the middle name then thats what we should do. I told him I’d come to terms with the change, and he said he’d pushed for the change because his mom had wanted it, and he thought he did too, but on thinking it over more, he wanted the name to be the one I wanted more. He also said he loved how much I wanted the middle name to be his.
Admittedly, I still did want that. I thanked him for being so understanding. We’ve always talked about two or three kids, so maybe we’ll get the chance to honor his grandfather or grandmother again.
Thank you for all the comments. I feel like we’re in a better place for me listening to them.
Yay resolution so happy
YAY!!
It’s always a MIL who wants a second chance at naming a kid when she presumably didn’t even do it for her own children. 🙄 he already gets the last name, and you agree on the first name even though you came up with it, so yea the middle should be a compromise. Glad you worked it out!
My mil had a hand in naming my kid. I live him, I live his name, but I still have a bit of a grudge about it.
My MIL was desperate to assert names into the conversation about our child’s name. My BIL’s wife only had boys so MIL lost interest in naming them since she liked two boys’ names total – my BIL’s middle name is my husband’s first name. My FIL’s name is my husband’s middle name because they didn’t have any other names to consider.
We didn’t find out the sex of our child so we also didn’t settle on a name. We discussed family names, we never linked first and middle names, at any one time we had 6 or more names we let people chew on. My top names were never mentioned because my husband’s insisted those were too important to us so we wouldn’t casually discuss. My mom called out that I was not mentioning one name she knew had to be on the list… she was right, I had held that name dear to my heart since childhood. My husband loved it and it was #1 for us. We used it and my MIL claimed, despite it never being mentioned as an expressed agreement between my husband and I and my mom being the only person who knew and my mom pretty much has zero tolerance for my MIL, only seeing her at our wedding 6 years prior, MIL could tell we liked this name most… except she couldn’t because no one ever told her 🤪 my husband was so annoyed.
Hooray! It’s nice to see someone genuinely looking for feedback and then taking that feedback to heart. Also really nice to see spouses who actually communicate! Really happy this seems to be working out. Like you said, if you have another son, maybe you could find a first name that sounds just perfect with grandpa’s. 🙂
Wait….you talked to each other, listened to each other, acted like you CARED about each other m, and then were BOTH WILLING TO COMPROMISE?
REDDIT is broken tonight!!!!
Yeah, but I love to see it!
I was definitely on the OP-is-TA side for the original post.
But if OP genuinely believes that hubby changed his mind for the stated reason and not because he felt like he had to, then I think we should obviously trust that.
Glad you two came to a happy resolution OP!
Omg my comment was SPOT ON and everyone was all “just bc u didn’t meet him doesn’t mean he doesn’t matter !!!” As if THAT was the problem
Yaaaay! You both communicated, you were genuinely willing to give, and it all turned out right!
It’s cool you were willing to compromise and your husband flipped it back to make you happy.
Maybe give your husband some time with this new information. Perhaps he will change his mind? I guess I’m sort of worried that he’s relenting because he knows how much you want this. You know, “happy wife, happy life” and all.