I haven’t been able to find even friends for a long time, that I don’t even remember how people communicate , and it’s hard for me to understand what normal people even talk about? What do you talk about when you first meet someone? What do you talk about with someone you already know? On a date?
I read that the skill of socialization is trained through socialization, but each attempt only causes more confusion and it is not clear what is wrong. Poe Therefore, I would like to read how normal people interact with each other.
I talk about my job and my hobbies, and I ask what all they have going on
when I talk with someone and ask about them I don’t see that someone interested in me
Usually, the conversations start off about what we’re currently doing. So if we’re at work, it’s work. If it’s an event, it’s an event.
General observation helps determine what someone is doing, which can move on to establishing common interests and shared topics for back and forth conversation.
Once common interests are established, that’s usually when it dominates the conversation, but will leave room for getting to know someone more outside of that real. Learning personal details that they give out and asking questions in return to broaden that knowledge.
When you already know someone, you also still talk about common interests and learning more about the person. Its just now you have past knowledge to go off of.
Dating is honestly very similar, but the goal is romantic instead of platonic.
When first meeting, there’s often a phase of “exploration”. Ask common questions, like the job, where they’re from, what hobbies they have … at some point you may find something in common, or some subject you want to know more about. Could be because the job sounds interesting, could be just they watch Netflix too (like everybody) so you probably have stuffs to comment together. And then one subject leads to another one.
A useful trick when meeting people again: try to remember few things in their life, that you could ask again later. Maybe they were looking for a new job, maybe they were going on a trip, maybe they had some health problem, if they have a kid is even easier. So you can ask news about it, easily creating a new subject of discussion, and showing that you didn’t forget them.
It will eventually come naturally, but at first you’ll have to actively do these things. See it like a game.
I struggle with this regularly too but usually tv shows and or movies are a good entry point or sports. But general hobbies or something that the two of us have in common. Which is pretty hard for me a lot of the time bones
Most conversation is bullshitting. If you lead with a topic that is *obviously* bullshit, it relaxes who you’re with – let’s them know there’s no Required Expected Response™.
Always ask about cheese.