This post is honestly more for me than the situation but I (23F) accidentally hurt my boyfriend’s (23M) feelings by saying I wanna make an edit for a trip we’re going on but he needs to have a lot of personality in the video. It wasn’t supposed to be a knock at him and I admit I should’ve worded it better, but I meant he needs to act silly for the camera and I know people can be embarrassed by that sometimes. I explained and apologized but he was upset and wouldn’t forgive me. He told me that he was upset and can’t just get over it and me saying sorry multiple times won’t change anything. Around 15 minutes later he said he forgave me and is fine now. But why do I feel so shitty and kind of hurt? I know I shouldn’t so I guess I’m just looking for some gentle advice and encouragement. We’re also currently long distance so this was all over the phone.
Give him some time to cool off and try to reassure him that it was by accident. You made a mistake, and you admitted it and owned up to it. Don’t try to rush him by minimising, just let it pass, and he’ll probably forgive you and even apologize and feel embarrassed for blowing it out of proportions.
Don’t worry, he’ll come around. These things happen, and dont feel too bad about it.
It was an honest mistake, he got hurt and wouldn’t forgive you after hearing you out.
But he didnt really hear you out, otherwise he would have forgiven your mistake. Because you didnt actually mean what you said and backtracked as soon as you realised.
He has every right to be hurt, and maybe he needs some time to cool off before he can listen properly. But the way he is acting while he is hurt insinuates that he doesnt fully trust that you mean well when you make a mistake. That shit hurts.
You know he can trust you, but on some emotional level, he doesnt, and this situation shines a light on that.
It sucks hurting someone’s feelings, especially someone you really care about. You should feel bad, this is a good thing that means you actually care. I would be much more concerned for your bf and your relationship if you didn’t care that you hurt his feelings, or rather told him to “man up” or that he was acting like a sissy. The typical “men don’t cry” bologna. Just let him cool down and he will move on. You apologized, he should understand, and as long as you avoid doing something similar to this he’ll forgive you.
Everything turned out ok. Sometimes we don’t pick the right words and it hurts someone’s feelings. But you did the only thing you could, which was apologize and explain what you really meant. It’s so fcking uncomfortable in the moment and for a few days, but as long as he forgave you and you forgive yourself, the sting will go away and a month or two from now everything will be totally fine and you won’t even think about it at all.