Hello! as said in the title, my roommate an alcoholic. I lived here for 2 years prior with my ex. we broke up and I needed a roommate to pay half the rent still so I found her on a roommate app. we first met everything seemed normal. I set expectations with her if she moved in. basic household tasks like doing her dishes, cleaning up after herself, taking care of shared spaces with me, taking out the trash when she sees it’s full etc. all stuff I pull my weight in as well. I let her know if we have any issues we need to talk about it because I don’t do passive aggression and would rather just work things out with her so we’re both happy.
Week one I realized I made a huge mistake letting her move in. I distinctly remember her telling me 3 specific things about herself before she moved in, unprovoked, and I will never forget them because of how fast the 180 was when she moved in.
1: She is very responsible and has no problem doing her dishes or cleaning up after herself. Lie. For the first 2 months she was leaving her dishes in the sink throughout the week not doing them food and everything and then disappearing on the weekend. I ended up doing her dishes the first 2 months and after talking about it still had to teach her how to use the dishwasher and scrape food off the plate first before putting it into the dishwasher.
2. she’s drinks every so often she’ll go out on a Friday night and have a margarita. lie. she drinks every single day without fail about roughly 8 drinks or a whole bottle or 2 of wine a night. she goes out every Friday and Saturday night drinking and if she’s home drinking will sleep in until roughly 2pm hungover. Is late to work every week day due to staying up till 12-2 am roughly every weekday drinking. Had to tell her the alcohol has to stay out of the fridge unless she’s drinking it because it got so bad I couldn’t fit my food in the fridge anymore.
(for context I grew up with an abusive alcoholic parent and escaped that house finally when I was around 22 so the alcoholism is very triggering for me)
3. She isn’t dating right now so I don’t have to worry about any boys or anything. Lie. Week 1 she told me a friend was coming over. I found out a week and a half later it was a random guy from tinder that stayed the night while I was asleep. I told her boys were fine if she knew them and trusted them to come to the house but it is literally a new guy every week. she does not know these people and I definitely don’t feel comfortable with a strange man over all night that she doesn’t even know either. she knows this. we’ve had multiple talks already. it still happens.
Well I’m at the point where I just want to tell her to get out. is it fair for me to just tell her to be out by the 15th?
I hope you have a contract with her. By law, you need to give her 30 days written notice
NTA for getting rid of her, YTA for only wanting to give 15 days notice, imo the minimum moral notice is 30/60 days.
I suspect the minimum required notice is 30 days if not more depending on where you live.
NTA, but you might be screwed. Does your landlord know you moved her in? I would give 30 days for her to move out, but be prepared for her not leaving. You may have to pack up her shit on a Friday night, leave it outside, and change the locks. Which may or may not be legal.
The landlords know. They said I can kick her out. They also said if she’s difficult about it they’ll help get her out since they live in the house too. I would definitely not go touch her things and I don’t think I can change the locks legally so I wouldn’t do that either.
If the landlords know and they ALSO live there, this isn’t your problem, it’s theirs. Tell them you want her gone and let them handle it. That’s critical info you should have led with–this isn’t even up to you.
“You may have to pack up her shit on a Friday night, leave it outside, and change the locks. Which may or may not be legal.”
In most US places that is likely illegal, and can get you in more trouble.
Damn is her name Dawn? Sounds like my old roomie.
NTA for wanting her to leave, but she has tenants rights regardless of whether or not she’s on the lease. Search applicable local laws before you illegally evict her and it becomes your problem.
Well it was verbal so I might just text or something and say she can have 30 days if she needs. She did not handle the conversation well at all looked at me like she was going to strangle me and slammed the door shut soooo don’t think communication is going to go smoothly at all even though I have been trying to communicate through all of this
NTA for wanting her out, but you are wrong and YTA for not giving your roommate enough notice, in other words thirty to sixty days and not just fifteen days (and yes, even though she is not on the lease, you at least in my opinion need to give your roommate enough notice and not doing this sure is nasty).
Yeah I’ll probably give her the option but she’s been a nightmare to live with so I don’t really feel so bad at this point. She has genuinely pushed me to my breaking point months ago and I’m only just now standing up for myself in my own house because I can finally afford to get her out of here. I have given her plenty of chances to change her tune and she’s proven over that time she does not care at all and I’ve given up on her. I don’t know this girl and I don’t want to anymore.
I would still give her 30 to 60 days just because if she is such a nightmare she might be even more of a nightmare if you try to get her out in a lesser amount of time (at least with 30 to 60 days you are or should be legally safe).
NTA. Based on nothing but the title.
She’s not on the lease, and therefore is not legally bound by it’s terms, which is a massive liability for you. Get her out and hope she doesn’t fight it by claiming she’s established residency.