Normally, I get them similarly priced gifts. No big difference. My younger niece(10)’s birthday was in January. She wants to be a scientist when she grows up so I got her a National Geographic Science kit.
I got something much more expensive for my older niece(18) though. At first I thought about getting her one regular birthday present, and one present for graduation and getting into her dream university. But my wife suggested getting her one special gift instead.
And then I saw a Premier League ad. I asked my niece if she still supports the same team. She said yes, so I went to their official site and ordered a framed shirt, hand signed by the club’s all time top goalscorer.
She was very excited but my sister said I shouldn’t have gotten something much more expensive for her and that my younger niece might be upset. Said it’s unfair.
NTA, if your younger niece asks about it they say it’s also partially her graduation present.
Plus I doubt the younger niece would know it’s more expensive anyways unless someone tells her.
NTA
NAH
But be sure to get an awesome grad/ Birthday gift for the younger one when she turns 18, and all is well.
NTA I guarantee the 10 year old is not looking at the price difference at this age.
Absolutely.
Only if mum interferes.
They got what they wanted
Not at all true. When I was younger, my aunt used to give me very expensive gifts and it would make my older sister very jealous. She was only a year older than me, and I started getting these gifts at age 5. She was never told the value of the gifts, but because she knew what the gift was, she knew how expensive it was. If the niece knows the price tag/relative value of the gift, then she could feel jealous or upset about getting less. If that doesn’t happen, op needs to let her know right away the gift is a combined gift hence the higher value.
You have a point, however there are two key differences here. Firstly, it appears from the way you’ve written this that your aunt consistently gave you more expensive gifts and secondly, you’re the younger sibling, and only by a year, so gifts are easily comparable. A much older sibling getting a one-off special gift of a type that’s unlikely to appeal to the younger sibling is not the same. My older sister’s near adult kids get much more expensive presents from me than my younger sister’s kids but with the intention that my younger sister’s kids will receive something comparable when they are older, too.
NTA. Explain to your sibling that this is a joint 18th Birthday & Graduation present, and that young Niece can absolutely count on something similar once she graduates. The science kit is way cooler for a kid than a wall hanging, and the difference in gift price and quality is a great parenting moment to explain that while things aren’t necessarily equal all the time, they are fair, and that different celebrations warrant different gifting standards.
10 year old likely understand this already, IMO your sister probably felt jealous that your gift was more expensive and better-considered than her own. She’s using “upset child” as a crutch to shame you, and she’ll get over it.
NTA 18 is a milestone birthday (or at least it is in the USA).
NTA. When your niece turns 18 and graduates, presumably you will then get her a nice gift.
I genuinely don’t think the 10 year old scientist is going to look at a framed tshirt and get jealous, I’m sorry, The mom’s projecting here and trying to make an issue.
as long as you buy the kid an equally expensive gift at 18 its fair.
10 year olds are smart enough to understand the difference in these milestone ages – if the child doesn’t then its because her parents infantilize her too much.
18’s a milestone. Tell your sister you’ll bring the same energy for your younger niece’s 18th, when she will likely appreciate it more.
NTA
The 10 year old may not care but your sister does. Tell your sister to just be grateful you’re in a position to do anything and it’s in poor taste for her to talk about the price of a gift. The 18 year old is going to have her own life they are lucky to have an uncle who cares. The 10 year old has years when she’ll basically be an only while as her older sister faces the world. But in this situation your sister is making trouble where there is none. I have 2 sisters myself, they do this sometimes. I would stir the pot and tell your sister you like the 18 year old better. That will really get her going. Again I would do that I don’t think you should. Unless you need a problem to deal with. You’re the uncle your sister doesn’t know that’s our job as uncles As the parent she has to be fair income have different rules.
The only way a 10 year old is going to bring up a price difference is if her mother pushes her to. The only instance where a child would have noticed the price discrepancy herself is if you had gotten them things that were very similar but had given the older one something with more bells and whistles. At that age, I doubt your little niece would even want a gift that she could only admire, expensive or not.
Plus, small kids interests change like the seasons. I asked my BIL if he wanted me to pick up a Beyblade something or other that I saw at a thrift store because I remembered he said his cousin liked them (he mentioned that back in January). Turns out his cousin isn’t interested in Beyblade anymore. 🤷♀️ If you got the smaller niece something really expensive, chances are she’d be over it a few months/a year later. That isn’t to suggest you should spend more money on the older one (you should definitely keep it as equal as you can).
NTA. Your sister is making a non issue into an issue.