I F20 and my roommate, who we’ll call Jessie (fake name) F20 are both currently single. We live in an apartment with 2 other girls (we’re all the same age) who are both in relationships. Mine and Jessie’s rooms are right next to each other’s and our two other roommates are on the other side of the apartment , also next to each other. The other two girls have their boyfriends over all of the time and it never bothers me.
Jessie and I both frequent dating apps, as most university students do, and she recently met a guy on there (let’s call him Jared) who she’s been talking to casually. They seemed to be hitting off really well and they seem like a good match for each other. He’s been over 1 time that I’m aware of, where we had a brief interaction about my outfit (I was going to an interview and asked my roommate for advice, he chimed in on a sweater option).
Today, I log onto tinder and while swiping I see Jared. Under his name it says “likes you”. I’m fairly positive I’ve seen his profile pop up prior to the in person interaction we had, but I’ve never gotten that little gold pop up under his name before. It made me automatically uncomfortable. I obviously swiped left, but I got a deep sinking feeling in my chest.
There’s a possibility he doesn’t remember swiping on me as most people just swipe mindlessly. But the thought of a man who’s swiping on me on a dating app being in my apartment makes me really uncomfortable.
So, wibta for asking my roommate to not have him over anymore?
Yes YTA she is entitled to have guests. He did nothing wrong.
Yes, he hasn’t become exclusive with her as far as anyone is aware so why would you tell her not to have him over? Just as college students do, he’s likely just looking for something casual, and not a serious relationship
I guess the best thing is to to talk with your roommate first and explain the situation. If you just single her out, since your other two roommates have their partners over like you said, it will just cause conflict.
Like you said, it can be a misunderstanding, he doesn’t remember swiping on you, or it can be something weird going on. Talking about it is the only way of figuring it out. It might feel awkward and weird, but it should be the right thing.
But there’s nothing wrong with feeling weird about him being over.
Like what exactly is the problem? It’s obvious your problem but what is it?
Do you try and control when and where she farts also?
Ywbta. He likely swiped before meeting you. She’s allowed to have whoever she wants over in her home just as much as you are. He hasn’t hit on you or done anything appropriate to give you reason aside from swiping on you on an app. I guarantee you other people you know have likely done the same before but unless you were paying for the app you likely don’t known
YWBTA. She’s allowed to have guests. You’re responsible for handling your emotions. Although I will admit I have no idea why a “likes you” is such a big deal to you that it makes you uncomfortable. You were fine with him before you saw this. This makes no sense.
He might be using your friend to get close to you.
She’s my roommate, not my friend. Nor do I have photos with her up or a public social media.
Talk to your roommate first. See how that goes. Don’t lead with “you can’t have this guy over” – that’s a recipe for disaster.
Okay so tell her the situation and go from there. If she still wants him to come over then so be it, she lives there too. Use your words & be an adult what’s the issue here?
YTA don’t be weird.
YWBTA. Let the girl live and learn to deal with being single.