Me (23m) and my partner (20f) have been together for 3 years and have an 11 month old son and we are incredibly happy, we met while we were at college and I was studying blacksmithing where I learned to make jewellery and it was always my best subject however as life has moved on I haven’t continued down the blacksmithing career path long term but still enjoy it as a hobby and over the years me and my partner have joked about how I don’t really have any excuse to buy a ring over making one myself to make it more personal however before my grandmother died she left behind three rings for me and my two sisters for when we eventually get married to be used as engagement rings I want to use my grandmothers ring to honour her wishes but I also don’t want to upset my partner by not making her own ring, I have also considered dismantling my grandmothers ring and using the parts from it to make a whole new one to maybe try and do both things but I feel outside opinions might be able to help
NTA.
Why not make the wedding bands instead?
This is something I’ve already agreed to do as they are a lot simpler and I could easily get done in a few hours of focused work
NTA. Use the grandmothers ring and if you can make the wedding band. Or a separate ring using your son’s birthstone.
NYWBTA if you didn’t make the ring yourself. You have a family heirloom that you can give her – I think that’s lovely on its own
NTA but I would consider if your grandmother’s rings are in a style that your partner prefers. If not, you may want to decide how to change it to be something she would like. Also, did she know your grandma and did they have a close relationship? How they felt about each other (if they knew each other) is also important to consider.
NAH
I would use grandmothers ring as an engagement ring to honour her and make the wedding rings yourself.
Make sure you tell your GF what youre going to do.
What you also might consider is to ask your sisters if they want a set of wedding rings as your wedding present.
NTA
Perhaps the best person to ask would be your partner. Would *she* want an heirloom ring, a redesigned heirloom ring, a new ring *you* made, or one you made for her. If all of them are options that are possible for you, then a great way to start this evolution of your partnership would be for her to be part of the decision.
I would propose with the heirloom as it is. Then I would *ask* what she wants.
NAH just consider, if your grandmother’s ring would be the right one for her or if she would prefer another design.
First, I vote NAH. Second, please, please don’t dismantle your grandmother’s ring – it is a vintage piece of jewelry with a history. It breaks my heart when heirloom, one-of-a-kind rings get pulled apart and melted down.
Third, I wouldn’t recommend making an engagement ring yourself unless you do this for a living. Engagement ring designs are often delicate and complex. As others have suggested, making the bands would be so much more practical.
If I were you, I would talk to your partner and ask what style of ring she prefers. If this aligns with your grandmother’s ring, great. If not, you two can pick a new ring together.
OR, if you want the proposal to be a total surprise, you can use your grandmother’s ring, but clarify she is under no obligation to wear it as part of her everyday wedding set unless she loves it. If she doesn’t, and that’s perfectly OK, she can wear your grandma’s ring on special occasions, or as a right hand ring, or keep it and pass it to your child someday.
NTA. As many people are saying, use the pretty heirloom ring as an engagement ring, and make the wedding bands yourself! You could make it a fun little challenge for yourself by analyzing the heirloom ring design and using that to make matching wedding bands.
Grandma’s engagement ring, handmade wedding bands: then you can make two matching rings.
No?
NAH
But please don’t do anything to your grandmothers ring. You can gift it to you gf down the line, maybe as a wedding day gift or an anniversary gift.