I (19M) work at a fast food chain and I’ve been training to be a manager. Our district manager (DM) hates my location and hated our previous general manager even more. The normal training is 2-4 months while my training has taken 5-6 months. All the other managers were promoted without much training because they were scrambling for managers at the time. So even now, a lot of them don’t perform very well and I totally understand the DM’s point of view to a point. It’s all been extremely over the top for my training. This is all just for a little context for why this whole experience just really sucks for me.
I recently got certified so they can’t underpay me anymore like they have been for the past 4 months lol. To get certified you have to finish these training books, get a manager ServSafe, and then you do a big manager test sort of thing to make sure the DM knows that you know what you’re doing. The DM will watch over you while you manage a shift and go down a checklist and mark off things you are doing right and things you need to work on. I’ve done the big test before and I barely failed it last time so I had to retake it. It’s not a pass or fail kind of thing it’s more just to gauge where you are underperforming. Then they circle back and do it again later, so they’re always doing these tests on all the managers frequently.
I had mine the other day and the night before I was SUPER stressed for it. I couldn’t sleep. When I did finally fall asleep it was around 2AM and I was opening at 5AM. I cried to my boyfriend (21M) about it and I told him how I hate my job and I hate my DM and how I thought I was gonna fail because I was gonna be so exhausted. Despite all this, I ended up doing great and I was really happy with myself.
After work, my boyfriend did not ask me about it. I asked him about his day to try to push him to ask me about it. When he asked about how my day was I told him it was okay and was anticipating him to specifically ask me about how my test went and he never did. I was kind of expecting him to read my mind here lol so this time it was on me. A little afterwards, I I told him I was upset that he didn’t ask and he just apologized and he asked. When I told him it just went fine he didn’t really ask for any details. Admittedly, I was still upset so I didn’t really want to talk about it then anyways and he picked up on that. I am still annoyed he didn’t ask then though.
The next morning I told him again and he apologized and he STILL DIDN’T ASK ME! He said he picked up that I was upset the night before and apologized for it again but he didn’t ask me about it now that I had cooled off. It just really bothers me that I confided in him about my stress and he never followed up He said he thought I didn’t want to talk about it because I was short with him when he asked about my day but I keep bringing it up because all I want to do is talk about it with him!
YTA don’t play games if you want him to ask you after raising it say that. He may have felt embarrassed after you expressed your feelings and felt it would look bad to now ask. He’s not a mind reader
You are still a bit immature, why not just say “the treat that was stressing over, I managed to smash it”
I mean it may have been a nice idea for him to bring it up but also you are an equal partner, you can confide in your partner and talk to him also
I wouldn’t say either of you are an asshole
NAH
YTA for this alone: “I asked him about his day to try to push him to ask me about it”. Sounds like you’re not too interested in his life either! It’s manipulative too.
If he had a busy day himself, he might have genuinely forgotten about your test. If this happens all the time, that’s a different story.
Most of your post is about him failing to read your mind. He asked, you said “it was fine” and are now offended he did not inquire further. Why not just tell him the story? You’re upset he did not ask again in the morning? How was he supposed to understand this expectation? What?
Communicate.
So: you are overwhelmed with your job. and your bf is not holding your hand enough after 4 months of your drama.
YTA
YTA, stop expecting him to read your mind and just talk about the thing you want to talk about. Stop talking around it and dropping hints and all that nonsense.
Thank you, I appreciate your input.
YTA. He’s not a mind reader and you’re kind of a hypocrite where you only ask him how his day went, and when he asks about yours you still throw tantrums that he didn’t enquire further? Grow up lad, you sound like you’re 12 mentally.
OP you can just start a conversation with your boyfriend like “hey you know I was stressed about the test thing for work today, it actually went really well can I tell you all about it?”
YTA – I get you are 19, but this is so immature. If you want to talk about something do it. You don’t need anyone to ask about it. You don’t get to expect someone to read your mind and be upset when they don’t. You can’t give short answers and expect someone to dig deeper. That’s not how adults have conversations. You are an adult now so put on your big boy pants and act like it.
> Admittedly, I was still upset so I didn’t really want to talk about it then anyways and he picked up on that. I am still annoyed he didn’t ask then though.
That sounds like an exhausting way to live
When you treat relationships as a battle.
YTA. I understand why you would like him to remember and be interested in the outcome. But I hate the game playing and manipulation on your part.
JFC dude, use your damn words. You had no problem doing it in this post. FFS your boyfriend isnt a mind reader. He asked and you said “fine”. You didnt elaborate. You gave one word responses. ‘Fine” and “ok” are kind of finalizing statements. Especially if you dont go any further with your response. Instead, you could have responded with “hey, i did really great today and passed. Lets celebrate”. But no, you just said “fine”.
YTA dude and also exhausting and insufferable. You’re young, but damn stop making everything a drama played out on Rupaul’s Drag Race.