So I (16f) and my little brother (12m) had an argument today.
It was my birthday last week (yay!) and so I got a bunch of new stuff for my room from my dad that I’d been asking for to just make my room a little more mine since it was looking a bit bland. We moved into this house a couple months ago. So my brother came in this morning because I wanted to show him everything I got, and then he started complaining about how my room is a lot better. Truth be told my room is arguably the best room in the house (sort of joking). I have a walk in closet, my own bathroom, my windows one of those ones you can sit on and it’s pretty spacious. I love my room to bits because especially with all my new stuff it’s so me and everyone who comes over says they love it.
My brother has a smaller room, but not at all like it’s insanely smaller. it just doesn’t have the things i just mentioned and doesn’t have level (like I have a mini set of stairs to my bed, his floor is flat which he also mentioned). Hes made his room a mine craft theme so it’s also matched to him, and I think his room is really cute for a boy his age. But he started complaining asking why I got the biggest room and how he wants to switch rooms. I kinda tried to laugh it off and I told him “it’s okay buddy just wait for my 18th and you can have it”. But then I saw he was genuinely pissed and he kept telling me we needed to switch rooms and his friends make fun of him for having a smaller room. I asked why they even know what my room looks like because they haven’t been over. That made him angrier because he thought I was making fun of him so he went to my mom and complained.
My mom is saying she gets how he feels and im old enough to understand the mature thing to do is switch rooms. I was a little more short with my mom and I told her im not switching rooms. My dad agreed and said my mom doesn’t need to give in to his tantrums and he needs to learn what no means from her. My mom argued that my dad doesn’t tell me no so my brother should get something for once. She told me to just think about it and I didn’t say anything because I was pretty pissed by this point and didn’t want to say anything mean and then she got mad at me for not talking. My dad then turned to me and said, “go to YOUR room (while side eyeing my mom), I’ll talk to you soon.” That happened a couple hours ago and I keep hearing my mom start the conversation up again to my dad and him telling her I shouldn’t have to switch rooms because my brother is having typical emotions boys his age might have about wanting things everyone else has. He said to me that tomorrow my brother will want some other thing and forget about it and mom dragging it for nothing.
AITA? sorry if this doesn’t make sense or the info is out of place. im running out of space to write as well so feel free to ask clarifying questions but I think I wrote as much as I can. thanks for any feedback I get.
EDIT: quickly; no my family isn’t a blended situation, my dad has also offered to do up brothers room a little more but mom said no, yes i clean my own bathroom and bedroom and everything once – twice a week depending on how busy i am with school and work.
Nta. your parents should not let whining succeed or your brother’s entitlement will get out of hand. Remind parents he gets room in two years when you leave for college/move out.
NTA. If you buy car, will your mom insist your brother get a nicer one? Frankly, you’re older, so typically you get the better room, and when you move out or go to university, your brother can move into the bigger room. It’s really not that hard, and your mom is trying too hard to favor your brother. Question – does she do this with other things? Take his side or his wants over others?
Nta, I had the same thing with my sister whos a year under me. She ended up getting the room and I was mad at my foster parent for ages cuz she gave in. Keep your room, paint the walls with a colour thats hard to paint over but you like that way it might put him off more
NTA. Your mom is out of line, and she isn’t doing your brother any favors. “I want this so I should have it” is no way to go through life.
You’re not the asshole, and your brother is just acting like a typical spoilt 12 year old.
Your mum on the other hand… she’s a full asshole.
Points to your dad for being a parent.
NTA, and if your mom keeps giving in to your brother’s tantrums he’s going to turn into an entitled AH.
NTA. It’s pretty common for the eldest child to get the nicer bedroom. Your brother needs to learn that he doesn’t always get what he wants. Like you said, he’ll likely be able to have the nicer room once you leave home in a few years. I do worry that your parents seem to be picking favorites among their children, which can cause long term problems down the road.
Your mum is the AH
NTA
Unless all your brothers friends are rich, I’d guess the average child’s bedroom is about the same size. And I can’t remember caring one bit what size my friends room was. All we cared about was who had the newest game to play.
The explanation about your dad buying you stuff is more likely the issue, he sees you as dad’s favorite.
NTA.
Your dad is right, and it sounds like he’s got your back on this.
NTA. The eldest child should get the bigger room while they’re at home in most cultures around the world.
As one of 5 kids growing up the oldest always had the bigger room. It’s just the way it is
Your mom is 100% wrong and it is good your dad has your back. Your brother can ask for things to redecorate his room on his birthday. And if your mom still wants to spoil her bratty son then she can offer up her and your dad’s room to him. Let your dad handle it. The answer is no. YWNBTA
Your mom sucks. It’s not out of the ordinary for the sibling with a smaller room to complain, it’s also not out of the ordinary for the older sibling to get the bigger room, or the better room.
If your mom is so concerned about him why doesn’t SHE do things to make his room better, get him a platform for his bed to go on, make the window area better by offering new seating, offer him new decorations etc.
Also, I’ll just say, unfortunately things for girls rooms happen to go way above and beyond things boys can decorate with. It may very well end up that you do move rooms and he’s still unhappy because it still doesn’t look as cool.
Also, I presume you clean your bathroom for the most part? And probably your mom handles cleaning the more public bathroom? I bet it’s harder to clean your room up too being that it’s bigger and you have to work around that big platform, huh? And that big walk-in I bet gets full of stuff you alway have to sort through, right? 😉😉