Hi, this might be a weird one but I really need help so that I don’t end up being an A-hole.
(Sorry for any mistakes English is not my first language)
Okay so since a few weeks back my mom (53f) has started posting AI generated photos of herself, her fiancé and ”family photos” on her Facebook. This is something I have reacted to since it’s a bit weird and in the photos she always makes herself look really young and attractive. But I also don’t care what she does on her own profile so whatever right?
Then two days ago she uploaded a selfie of herself that is very clearly edited by AI, to the point it doesn’t really look like her anymore. And today she changed her profile picture to another AI edited photo of herself that makes her look 20 years younger and nothing like herself.
Her work is highly dependent on networking and that happens through Facebook in this case. I have a feeling this would not reflect good on her and make clients take her seriously. I’ve also heard from other people in the family/ friends of family that they think it’s sort of sad to see her like this and asking if she’s going through a crisis.
I think she is going through a crisis and want to bring this up to her and try to make her understand how it’s making her look. But I don’t know if that is a smart move? It’s none of my business what she does in her life and it doesn’t really affect me in anyway. but I do know that she would be embarrassed if she knew people were laughing behind her back and it could affect her work.
So would I be the asshole for bringing this up to her?
NTA for bringing it up once as long as you do so very tactfully and don’t nag.
Rather than telling her that you are embarrassed by her pictures, say something like “Well, I suppose it’s OK, but I think your previous picture was much nicer. This one doesn’t even look much like you.”
I completely agree with this take NTA
YTA
Her profile is her business.
If it causes negative consequences, that is her business, too.
Depends entirely on if she has permission to be making AI generated photos of the other people on the photos and if her dpingbthat is also negatively affecting others around her though which it honestly sounds like she doesnt and for sure know uf someone did that with me I definitely wouldn’t be happy and demand they take the pictures down.
NTA, but it needs delicate handling. Only have the conversation if you think you can be tactful and supportive.
Soft YTA. I totally understand your concerns about her mental health and her networking, but at the end of the day, your mom can post whatever she wants. Bringing this up to her might make her upset or defensive and I honestly don’t think it’s worth it.
You can note that this may not great for work, but acknowledge she knows her field better than you do. But don’t “tell her to change it”. YTA if you say it is “sad” or tell her you’re “worried it’s a crisis”.
Not everything has to be “crisis”. She might just think it’s cool to play around wirh AI filters, like millions of other people.
And yes, she can have a “mid life crisis” of missing her youth, without it being a major thing. Most people feel like that at some point. She’s at an age that might be the border of finishing raising kids and thinking about retirement and future.
If the line of work is anything like sales or representing stuff where honesty and integrity are important then looking fake AF is a bad idea
NTA, but it’s not your life. Let it go.
YTA it’s her fb
Could you say, “Mom, I think you are so very beautiful. You look so much more energized and friendly than some of your friends. Your new Facebook picture does make you look a little bit younger and it might be perfect for dating, but for me, if I were looking to buy real estate it doesn’t bring out your inner shine, your approachability, and that glow in your eyes and lovable smile and the wisdom that only comes from being a professional woman for 25 years. (Or whatever) I think your previous picture is more my favorite. You are beautiful and the previous picture seems to captures all of that so much better for me. But, you are the professional and you obviously know much more about what works than I do so I love you and I respect your judgment 100%.
YWBTA – this is dangerous ground and it is doubtful that you’d be able to word it correctly. Altgough it is nice that you care, she probably knows her business better than you or “family and friends” do. It is possible that she is already facing age discrimination. If others are using enhanced photos and she’s appearing older than them and losing business, then what she’s doing is probably the best choice.