I’m currently studying in a public university, and I’m about to receive a scholarship that includes a significant amount of money. My father wants me to give this money to help pay for my brother’s tuition, but I want to use it to upgrade my computerr, which I really need for school.
The reason I don’t want the money to go to my brother’s tuition is because of his history. He’s one year ahead of me, but he should have graduated two years ago. In his first year of college, he failed all his subjects, and my parents paid a large amount with no results. He repeated the year, but failed again, and again my parents paid a lot. While his peers moved on to their second year, he was still stuck in his first.
He later shifted to another program and barely passed, but continued to cause a lot of stress for my parents because of hiis behavior. Then, he got into serious trouble, and my parents decided he should stop studying. Last year, he didn’t study and tried to work different jobs, but none lasted.
Now he has resumed his studies again. In the past, my parents used to pay his tuition through one-time payments, which were cheaper overall. But because they’re afraid of losing a large amount of money if he fails again, they now pay his tuition monthly instead, even though it ends up costing more in the long run. They’re trying to minimize losses in case he drops out again.
My brother has already drained my parents’ savings and caused a lot of disappointment, and I want to help ease their burden. But I’m afraid that giving him my scholarship money will just be wasted, based on his track record. Meanwhile, upgrading my computer would directly help with my education and future.
So, WIBTA if I want to spend it on myseld instead?
NTA. His history doesn’t even matter, it’s your scholarship money and is intended for you. It could even be considered fraudulent to use it on something other than your schooling.
Pretty sure that would be illegal and if found out could be revoked and asked to be paid back. NTA.
Seconded. Until recently, I managed scholarships at a local university. The money is intended for that person’s educational expenses. End of story.
It’s your money and you have no obligation to give it away.
NTA go get yourself a nice computer. You earned it. Your brother got far more chances than many would get.
The scholarship is for you to support your studies!
Sounds like your dad is desperate for your brother to succeed, but throwing money at him isn’t going to turn him into the dedicated student your parents want him to be.
It hasn’t worked before and it won’t work now.
NTA
Stand up for yourself. You need to also set a precedent that you will not coddle this brother like your parents. Buy the computer or anything else you want with the money.
If you don’t set a precedent now, you will keep bailing this brother out for a long time.
Don’t even feel one moment of guilt about it, I can assure you that if the roles were reversed this brother will not help you at all. These types of selfish people are enabled by bad parents and can wreck an entire family’s finances.
Don’t let it happen to you.
He didn’t earn the scholarship, you did. This may be your first lesson of not discussing your financial information with anyone. Even your parents.
I completely agree with you with not sharing financial information. Wish I could upvote you more.
NTA I would tell your father that your brother has already had multiple chances and had a lot of money given to him; now it is time for you to have your chance, and you should not be made to give it up for your brother. This scholarship is your chance and the money is yours for your future. If your father has any love for you he should back off and recognize that it is not right to give all the family’s money plus your scholarship money to your brother leaving you with nothing. You wish your brother success in the future, but should not have to sacrifice your chances in life to give him yet another chance before you’ve had your first.
You may find that your father is so wrapped up in putting in good money after bad when it comes to your brother that he has lost perspective, or that your brother is the golden child, or whatever. You may be the only person in the family who will put you first — and that’s what you should do, while framing things as I’ve stated above. If they won’t see that you deserve your chance you need to tell them that you do, gently but firmly without budging (if you want to try to preserve family relations).
Look at the rules of the scholarship. I presume paying for someone else’s tuition is not in the terms and conditions.
I imagine giving the money to some else is actually in the terms and conditions, as an example of fraudulent use lol
NTA. Your scholarship, your choice. You’re still putting that toward your costs for your own schooling/education. Your brother is not entitled to YOUR scholarship. Dad should be congratulating you and supporting the good work you’re doing instead of expecting you to shoulder the financial burden of your brother. Maybe Brother should be working some jobs to help his parents pay for his schooling.
NTA. Giving away the scholarship money may be fraud or have tax implications. Plus your brother doesn’t deserve it.