So I have been with my husband for 7 years. My husband and his baby mother have a signed parenting plan since 2025. That says mother has child Monday evening to Thursday morning. The father has child on weekends Thursday evening to Monday morning.
The mother has an option for 1 weekend a month.
How does it work if she says she wants a specific weekend but we already have plans for that weekend and she refuses to take that and says she’s going to take him anyways.
She threats if he does not comply she would contact the non emergency police. She is constantly bringing up she is going to take him back to court that she is no longer going to be nice.
Nice has nothing to do with it’s, it’s about being fair and having equal time sharing. The parenting plan is 50/50.
She says my husband prohibits her from exercising her parenting time for a specific weekend (20th of next month). When my husband already had plans for that weekend, he offered her a different weekend (27th of next month) She said no and chose a totally different weekend (the 7th of next month) that wasn’t even discussed or offered. Claiming she’s going to get him that day because she said so. My husband had plan set for that day she’s going to take him.
My husband says his son needs to be with his mother and spend time with her which is 100% valid, but when it comes to his son being with his father she has such an issue.
My husband had been involved and 100% active in his son’s life since she became pregnant (his son is 9 years old). Things did not work out for them which is fine things happen.
She does not see by her demanding unilaterally she’s taking whatever weekend she chooses she is prohibiting my husband from exercising his parenting time.
It does not feel she is willing to coparent. It is only her way or what she wants. But what is the point of the parenting plan?
What would you do? We need advise! Thank you!
You need to talk to a lawyer to discuss your options.
OP has no options since they aren’t the parent.
If her (assuming her) husband and his ex / baby momma have an issue, they need to go back to court to resolve the issue.
INFO: Generally there is wording in the court docs that specifies the custody arrangement. If the two parties can’t agree then go back to the lawyers for a modification that specifies 2nd weekend, third weekend etc. Normally custody orders aren’t vague unless both parties agree they can work together and be flexible. Also you should take into account what the 9 yr old would want. Ex: if the requested weekend plans are his favorite cousin’s birthday party – he should be allowed to attend. Life is only going to get busier with friends & activities so it’s best to try to accommodate each other.
YTA somewhat but it might be more like E S H. The parenting plan specifies she can have one weekend a month – but evidently doesn’t specify which weekend – and your husband is preventing that. He doesn’t get to decide unilaterally which weekend it is, but neither does she. In my experience, with plans like this, it’s up to the coparents to figure it out, to negotiate on what works. It might make sense to amend the agreement to specify how far in advance the weekend should be specified by the mom, so that you guys know when it is safe to make plans. Like for instance maybe it needs to be two months’ notice for the weekend to be guaranteed, and if notice is given less than 2 months in advance, it is subject to alternatives offered by your husband. I would guess there are some logistical details that could be added to the parenting plan.
But the baby mama exercising her right to a weekend with the kiddo is not prohibiting your husband from exercising his right to the schedule; her right to a weekend is built right into the plan. It’s inconvenient for you guys, and you need to figure out something reasonable that allows you to make plans. But that’s it.
>It might make sense to amend the agreement to specify how far in advance the weekend should be specified by the mom
Agreed – whoever drafted the agreement is not very clever for not including this
YTA. You refuse to accept? It very well could be she is being unreasonable, but this reads more like you want to extert something against her, especially when your husband/the father seems ok with things.
Personally I hate “50/50” splits like this, cause they are not really 50/50. Monday-Thursday is SOOOO different than Thursday-Monday, especially for a young kiddo.
At the end of the day though, if you can’t even convince your husband/the father that this is a issue worth fighting for, you really need to fall back a bit more.
Strick adherence to a co-parenting plan is great when it works, but usually flexibility, as your husband/the father, has shown is best even if the other parent is a being unreasonable. But its hard to really decide who is unreasonable here without knowing more but its easy to see your more concerned with her compliance than anything.
NAH – it sounds like the current agreement is insufficiently specific.
You need to talk to your lawyer about modifying the agreement to (a) specify *which* weekend the other parent receives each month by default and (b) specify that any changes have to be requested in advance (14 days? 21 days?).
Well first off, this conversation is between your husband and his ex, so unless you insert yourself in between, you have no way of being the AH.
Now coming to the point of tension between your husband and ex. Your husband is the A here. You find his ex wrong because she demands to take him on the weekend she asked, but she actually offered two options. Your husband is the one who made plans for atleast 2 out of 4 weekends in the month, without discussing with her first when he very well knew this scenario is possible.
So it’s your husband who wants to have full autonomy of when his son stays with him and which weekends will be his ex’s.
I would advise you to either help him see the truth or simply stay out of it because it’s not really your problem.
This isn’t the correct forum for this question.
Time to ask the court. Call your lawyer.
What plans make it where she can’t have her child? Why does only your husband’s plans matter, is he communicating with her about these plans ahead of time? The parenting plan says she chooses her weekend, well that means she gets to choose…
Maybe let her take him to court if she wants to be like that. Your husband will likely walk away with a mandated, formalized version of what you have and the same backup to keep her from making threats to get her way. 🤷🏻♀️
Info: what are you proposing to do exactly that would potentially make you TA? And what does your husband want? If your husband is fine with the way things are, YWBTA if you insist on fighting it.
This is not your battle. Maybe your husband and his ex could communicate before making plans? Stop going to 100? Learn to compromise?