Throwaway account because this involves a local business, and I don’t want this connected to my main. I am also unsure if this falls within the rules, so please reject if I have posted in the wrong place.
I’ve been using a local car detailing business that presents itself as a family-owned operation run by a married or engaged couple with kids. That image is part of how they market themselves and was part of why I felt comfortable supporting them.
Recently, I found out that this image is not accurate. They aren’t actually married, they don’t share the last name they use for the business, and some of the “family” story they tell customers isn’t true. That alone made me feel misled.
On top of that, I also became aware of legal issues involving one of the owners, which raised concerns for me about safety and judgment. This is not based on gossip or hearsay; I did fact-checking and there are reliable, verifiable sources backing up what I found. I’m not comfortable sharing specifics because it involves real people and ongoing legal matters, but it was serious enough that I would not have hired them if I had known earlier.
While they didn’t come to my home, I did bring my vehicle to their location, leave my keys with them, and trust them with my personal property. Knowing what I know now, I wouldn’t have felt comfortable doing that.
I want to be clear that I don’t think people need perfect personal lives to run a business. That’s not the point. What bothers me is that they actively present themselves as something they’re not to build trust with customers, and that trust is especially important when customers are handing over valuable personal property.
Their actual work quality has been fine, but now I feel uncomfortable and, honestly, a bit stupid for trusting the image they sold. I’m considering leaving a review or warning others that their branding and presentation don’t reflect reality and that there may be reasons to think twice before hiring them.
Some friends say I should just stop using them and move on, and that their personal lives aren’t my business if the service was okay. But I feel like if I stay quiet, I’m letting other customers be misled the same way I was.
AITA for thinking this matters and wanting to say something, or should I just quietly take my business elsewhere?
> family-owned operation run by a married or engaged couple with kids. That image is part of how they market themselves and was part of why I felt comfortable supporting them.
YTA. Maybe it changes, but the notion of “family” being a determinate trait for car detailing makes be start off at your the asshole.
> They aren’t actually married,
You literally said “or engaged”
> I’m not comfortable sharing specifics because it involves real people and ongoing legal matters, but it was serious enough that I would not have hired them if I had known earlier.
Then who cares if they are a “family”?
> I did bring my vehicle to their location, leave my keys with them, and trust them with my personal property.
You mean the vehicle right? You shouldn’t leave personal property in a car getting detailed. Most shops specifcially disclaim liabilty/responsibility for personal property left in the vehicle.
> I’m letting other customers be misled the same way I was.
I doubt no one is being misled in this way cause no one else is basing car detailing on “family”. Judgment unchanged.
Given how over-the-top you’re being about “image”, I don’t think we can make any judgment about the supposed “legal issues”.
YTA for the “image” stuff.
YWBTA. Why is what they do in their private lives any of your business? If the legal issue doesn’t involve their business at all it is a separate issue. You sound judgemental up on your high horse.
Just take your business elsewhere.
Reading everyone’s opinions, I agree that the best move is probably to just take my business elsewhere and move on.
To clarify, though, if they had kept their private lives private and not used it as part of their marketing, I wouldn’t have felt lied to. What bothered me was that they actively presented a specific family/relationship story to customers to build trust, and that story isn’t accurate.
And regarding the legal issues, they do fall into the kinds of categories people mentioned (theft/assault/fraud-type concerns), which is why it affected whether I felt comfortable trusting them with my vehicle and keys. That said, I get that others may not see it the same way, and I can accept that.
YTA. Unless their legal issues are relevant (theft, grand theft, assault, fraud) family or not doesn’t mean anything in regards to their legitimacy or business model. The mafia is a family business. There are cults marketed as “The Family,”
They could be cousins, and you assumed it’s a married couple. They could be friends who treat each other as family. Frankly their relationship status doesn’t mean anything as long as they treat your car with care.
Fair point about the mafia example — I get what you’re saying that “family” by itself doesn’t equal legitimacy.
The part I think you’re missing is that I didn’t assume anything. Their marketing and social media include photos of them with the kids presented as “their family,” and they present themselves to customers as a married/engaged couple running a family business. That wasn’t my interpretation, that was the image they actively put out.
And yes, the legal issues are relevant in the sense that they fall into the types you listed, which is why this stopped being just about relationship status for me and became about whether I felt comfortable trusting them with my vehicle and keys.
If it were only that they weren’t actually related, I’d agree it wouldn’t matter. It’s the combination of misrepresentation and relevant legal concerns that made me question continuing to support them.
if we have to go off of… like, *no* details of what they actually lied about, YTA. it doesn’t sound like they’re hurting anybody, and it sounds like they provide great service. who cares if they’re married? that doesn’t define what kind of family someone is to each other. (again, you have given no details except this so we have nothing to go on.)
The “family business” stuff is really irrelevant. As for the legal stuff, I’d wait until it’s over before saying anything to anyone, as there’s only so much you know about the suit and the details of the situation.
YWBTA if you went around discouraging people to use this business when it still might turn out that the plaintiff doesn’t actually have evidence of any wrongdoing on the business owners part.
You have the right to spend – or withhold – your money from any business for any reason…. But it isn’t fair to badmouth their business just because you didn’t know “family” was more of a business brand than a promise. (Technically, “Hilton” is a family business – do you assume everyone working in all of those hotels are related?)
As long as you got decent service for the job you paid for – discussing anything else is a personal attack and would make you the AH.
YTA – Don’t have to be married to be a family.
I think you’re missing the bigger point. That is, “fluff” words. These are used in marketing all the time. You’re getting all bent out of shape because of an image because you saw “family owned”. Like I said, you don’t have to be married to have a family. Also, how do you know that he/she didn’t take the last name of their spouse if they are married.
Have you ever driven by a little mom and pop brick and mortar place that advertises “The Worlds Best…(insert product name here)”. Who decided that it was the “World’s best”? How come I’ve never heard of it? Who else was in the competition? What was the criteria to be qualified? This is a free market capitalistic society. That’s why rule #1 is “Buyer Beware”. If you’re going to get hung up on “fluff words” in advertising, then I really think you’re going to be missing out on a lot of good things out there.
I do not understand how being family owned or not, presenting themselves as such, having children or not, have anything to do with car detailing. I can 100% say that I’ve never chosen a local business based on their branding as a family. I have zero knowledge of such status for any place I go to, and do not care. Is the job done fine and for a reasonable price? That is what matters. It’s literally just business.
You of course is free to chose whatever business you want to patronize, for whatever reason.
YTA
If they are professional and trustworthy then your speculation is slander and possibly libel if you put it into writing. Take your business elsewhere and don’t try to ruin their business.