So I have a friend, let’s call him A, who’s brutally honest to everyone he meets, the problem being he thinks everyone should abide by his standards and that people should be honest in every conversation. I’ve known him since 2021 so I know this doesn’t ruin his life but he has no friends, I don’t think even considers me one, he’s always frustrated and can’t appreciate the company of most people he meets.
Yesterday I tried to tell A to stop being rude (because he had told his coworker to fuck off in the morning) to people who don’t act like him and that’s when he told me I was a coward and an asshole not to "speak my truth" (his words).
NTA, but also:
1. You didn’t “almost force” anything
2. This guy isn’t your “friend”
3. It isn’t “against his morals” to not be a raging asshole
NTA – You did speak your truth and it hurt his feelings. You gave him a taste of what he serves other people and he could not handle it.
You are not a coward. Keeping peace and learning to work and live as a community IS a valuable skill, and knowing when and how to be honest takes tact and grace. Your friend may be perceptive, but he is also cruel, but that is his problem. If he will not take your constructive advice to heart, then let him go. He will eventually push you away! Save yourself the frustration and let this be the push.
NTA, but what do you gain from this friendship? If he’s unappreciative and rude all the time and can’t handle minor pushback, how does this relationship actually benefit you?
NTA. He’s a dick. Don’t talk to him.
NTA
You were being honest by telling him he’s rude, isn’t that what he wants?
If I were you, I wouldn’t want to be associated with someone who thinks telling others the fuck off is “living his truth.” He sounds like someone who deserves to be alone.
“Honesty without tact is cruelty” Your friend hasn’t learnt that yet.
**NTA.** You spoke your truth, and he simply couldn’t handle the same bluntness he inflicts on others.
NTA
I bet he’s not brutally honest to everyone he meets though. How often does his brutal honesty involve a compliment? Maybe I’m just projecting here but I’d put money on this being something that happens a lot less than something negative.
NTA.
Brutal honesty is not a moral code. It’s an excuse for being an A. Never feel pressured to respect the “morality” of someone being an A.
Telling people to “fuck off” isn’t “brutally honest” in any way, it’s just being a dick. There’s no honesty in it, it’s just… obnoxious.
yeah, I don’t love how some commenters are attribute outright hostile behavior to autism.
NTA. It is possible to be straight with people without being rude about it. Sometimes this will still involve them getting pissed off or insulting you in return, if you disagree with something they care about. That’s all that’s going on here— this guy is really invested in this idea that by having no social filter or emotional regulation he’s more honest than others. If it hasn’t ruined his life yet then he’ll have to keep working towards bottoming out. I would give him the wide social space he appears to want.
He’s an AH simply for using the phrase ‘speak your truth’.
When someone says they’re ‘brutally honest’ it’s just an excuse for being an asshole.
NTA, if he doesn’t think you’re a friend you shouldn’t bother trying to be his friend.