In September, my mother in law moved in with us “temporarily” after her lease ended and she didn’t have enough money for a new apartment. This all happened about two weeks before I gave birth. Shortly after moving in, she lost her job and was unemployed for about two months, which caused her stay to last much longer than expected.
While living with us rent free she rarely did her own dishes I have been doing them. she regularly left her own tupperware sitting in the sink for weeks at a time, along with some of our dishes she had used. Seeing them there every time I cleaned the kitchen became overwhelming, especially while already exhausted postpartum.
More recently, she left our back door opened twice, which is a serious safety concern for our child who is nonverbal & has autism prone to elopement. Before she moved in we expressed how important it is to tell us if she’s leaving so we can latch and lock the back door behind her and all of a sudden she didn’t two days in a row. After months of frustration, my husband asked her (at my request) to start doing her own dishes. She didn’t do them for two days, so he asked her again tonight she eventually cleaned them, but became upset, packed her belongings, when my husband asked her where she was going she compared the situation to when my husband lived with her and never did his own dishes and implied it was unfair. I told her I was the one who asked my husband to address the dishes because I was overwhelmed. She said she understood, but that “this just isn’t working,” and also said she felt blamed for the back door being unlocked, stating she hasn’t had a key since moving in.
Might I add that this lady has a serious drinking problem.
Let her pack and leave. NTA. She sounds like a mess.
NTA. She left. You won. Don’t feel even a tiny bit of guilt. And DO NOT under any circumstances let her back in.
Trash took itself out.
Did she actually leave though? OP wasn’t clear. Either way, NTA.
Edit: I see in a comment below she actually left, so that’s a win! She clearly wants to play the victim, hoping they’ll beg her to come back. Good riddance!
NTA. So did she leave? If so, count your blessings. If not, tell her for her to remain there has to be guidelines – such as her making sure the door remains locked and her cleaning up after herself? Tell her your husband is more mature than when he lived with her and now knows better about how important it is to clean up after himself.
INFO: you said she packed. Did she leave? Then you should be able to get your home back in order.
Yes she packed and left. My husbands sister said she called her and asked her if she could stay there but his sister told her she cannot because her husband is aware of her drinking problem and they cannot deal with that in her household. So I have no idea where she is at currently maybe a hotel or sleeping in her car
Do not allow her back into your house. Your kids don’t need that kind of instability.
So she left on her own, it’s a win-win! NTA.
She lost her housing, lost her job, left the doors unsecured and doesn’t care about cleanliness????? I would be concerned that her mental health is declining. Is she a senior with any other health concerns?
Sounds like alcohol and depression.
1) You have a husband problem
2) Let her go and get the locks changed ASAP
Let her move out.
Offer to drive her to a hotel. Change the locks. Don’t let her back in, even to visit.
NTA. She should at least be cleaning up after herself if not helping you postpartum.