I’m 26F, and my sister is 22. We live separately, but she comes over sometimes and she have this habit of borrowing my clothes whenever she is around At first I was cool with it I didn’t mind because it was not on a regular and she usually returned the clothes she took
But lately I’ve noticed some of my items missing Sometimes I only realize when I’m getting ready to go out and can’t find what I actually need ,I told her to just text or ask first before taking anything that belongs to me so I don’t have to be looking for it everywhere like I lost it.
She got angry and said I was overthinking and overreacting that siblings should not be needing permission to take each other’s stuffs. Our parents think it’s not a big deal and that I should just let it go. I don’t want to stop sharing completely with her I just want to be aware of what she’s takes so I don’t end up looking for it all over the place
AITA?
NTA. That’s a bare minimum consideration. As far as I understand you’re not even requesting for her to ask permission, just to tell you about it. You need to draw a boundary about this because she clearly feels entitled to your belongings.
How is she getting your clothes without you knowing about it? Does she have a key?
You live apart… so who’s still living with the parents?
Frankly, just shut it down completely. If you’re the one that’s moved out, change the locks and don’t give anyone in your family a backup. Sounds like your parents don’t care to be involved in “petty sibling squabbles” and if they have your key, they’re not going to prevent your sister from taking it too.
NTA
Make your clothes off limits altogether. You’re not crazy; your sister is rude and thoughtless. Nta
NTA
It really seems like you’re having to ask for something that should be a given, but maybe after years of it being this way, it’s making her feel like you’re saying she’s done something wrong.
Either way, it’s a very reasonable boundary and you’ve done nothing wrong.
NTA
She needs to ask first. It is incredibly rude to borrow something without asking.
If she keeps it up, change the locks.
NTA – If its yours, its yours. You have the right to know.
NTA.
>She got angry and said I was overthinking and overreacting that siblings should not be needing permission to take each other’s stuffs.
First off, anyone and everyone has to ask for permission to take anything; family or not. Not doing so is called stealing.
Second, I would be all the money in the world if you did exactly the same thing to her she would be just as upset
NTA, your sister sounds entitled.
Not the AH. Maybe give her a taste of her own medicine by borrowing a couple pieces of her favorite clothes without telling or asking her. If she complains, you know what to tell her. “Siblings shouldn’t need permission to take each other’s things.”
That, to me, is warring words and is simply entitled thinking and disrespectful.
NTA. You wrote “She got angry and said I was overthinking and overreacting that siblings should not be needing permission to take each other’s stuffs.” That is gaslighting and manipulation 101.
NTA. The idea of siblings being allowed to take each other’s things is wild to me. If I had done that to my little sister, she would’ve made it very clear that I was Not going to do that again.
Get your things back and have the locks changed.
NTA. If you have your own place either take back her key or change your locks. So what if you are siblings, that doesn’t give her equal right to everything you own. You need to start setting healthy boundaries. Even if you have her over you can still lock your room.