My best friend got an idea that we should give gifts to each other because it was valentines. She really wanted me to give her a gift like to the point that she was pressuring me saying things like "Come ooon I have something for you anywaaay" "I just broke up with my girlfriend don’t you wanna cheer me up??". So I bought an pricy animal squishy for her as a gift. She decided to give her gift for me early. When she gave her gift for me…. I immediately thought… What the heck. Her gift for me was a valentines card with a singular lollipop. I wanna be grateful for the gift but… I expected more because of how she pressured me to buy her a gift. The animal squishy I bought for her is not out for delivery yet I’m thinking of canceling it and just buy her like chocolates or something instead. Am I the asshole for being disappointed??
NTA. Return the plush if you’re having second thoughts. It can always be re-ordered for a birthday or holiday if you change your mind. And for what it’s worth, it’s not ever on you to have to buy someone a gift to appease them
NTA- return it and buy her a chocolate.
This is probably NAH. Though I do think repeatedly asking when you were showing reluctance and saying: “I just broke up with my girlfriend don’t you wanna cheer me up??” is kinda manipulative and the biggest issue I see in this whole situation.
You’re allowed to be dissapointed in a gift, it’s more about how you outwardly reacted based on your dissapointment. I think this was more an issue where expectations weren’t properly communicated between the both of you. If you were rude about the gift or didn’t say thank you, you might be the AH if neither of you chose to discuss what type of gift or a price range, then the misunderstanding is 50% on you.
If I were you, I’d cancel the plushie and get a gift more proportional to hers. If it was a simple miscommunication then there should be no issue, and now you know what her expetations for valentines gifts are should she ask again.
Well, she was an AH for pressuring you into getting her a gift.
If you can, cancel the order.
I’m a little confused because you are posting this well after V-day – almost a week after she must have given you her gift. I’m not sure how you giving her a gift about a week after the holiday was supposed to make her feel better, but I’m ignoring that and just addressing the interaction.
This screams of her wanting to receive a valentine’s day gift. Since she won’t be getting one from her newly-minted ex, she wants you to give her something. She Just. Wants. Something.
Since she kept pushing you into doing this with the claim/guilt-trip that she got you something, it’s perfectly fine to spend close to what she spent on you. You can be nice and go a little higher. (Maybe you picked up something on sale on Sunday?)
NTA. A small gift is fine but guilt-tripping you into buying something and then going minimal herself is the weird part.
NTA… This is your BEST friend? Yikes.
NTA and it is fine if you are disappointed, but that happens a lot with gift exchanges, I think, so I would shrug and move on. Yes, buy her a chocolate and a card, don’t spend a lot of money on it and don’t spend a lot of time overthinking this thing that happened.
NTA
Nta. Cancel it and get her the same thing in return.
You are essentially being used as a seasonal emotional support human for a person who cannot even match your energy with a decent candy bar. Match her low effort by grabbing a grocery store chocolate and calling it a day.
NTA you were manipulated. Return the plushy.
NTA
She told you she got you a gift when she didn’t. Then she used that as a manipulation tactic to get you to buy her something. She isn’t a friend, she is a leech.