So some context, we have this employee (mid20s M, we’ll call him Tod) at work who tends to not be aware of his surroundings and doesn’t pay attention.
So today at work I (33F) was walking towards a desk when Tod was walking around the area. I noticed if I continued on the current path we were going to walk into each other, so I moved towards to the side and continued walking. At the last moment, Tod ended up changing directions and we very gently bumped into each other.
He then says to me, "An excuse me would be helpful to know you’re there."
I responded, "I already moved out of the way to avoid bumping into each other, but it’s no big deal, it’s all good."
Then Tod said, "You need to say excuse me still."
I shrugged and decided to let it go, wasn’t worth arguing about and it wasn’t like anyone got hurt.
Later, I was walking by his desk and I heard him tell people that I "ran into him" which is definitely not what happened! It’s been a really rough week since my coworker is out sick, so I’ve taken over her responsibilities along with mine…so I started crying (not my finest moment). I decided to bring it up to a manager, not to get him in trouble (which I said to the manager), but basically to CYA so if it were to get back to the managers, they would know my side of the story.
The manager ended up talking to Tod and it’s clear Tod is mad at me. I personally feel he made a situation into a bigger deal than it needed to be, but maybe I’m in the wrong for escalating it to management. Things can spread like wildfires, so i wanted to shutdown an untrue rumor about me before it went through the entire building. So, AITA?
Did he say “excuse me” to you? NTA he’s making the whole situation to be bigger than it is.
This is a word for word copy of another post.
It’s very weird that you as the lady were supposed to show deference in saying excuse me when he was just as responsible.
It’s a common enough phenomenon that it’s been dubbed ‘manslamming’. Basically there’s an unconscious expectation from most men that women will move out of their way or be the way to apologise even when it’s his fault.
It tracks if you take misogyny into account.
I know this copied from another post, but he is correct. You should have said “You’re right. Excuse you”. Meaning he was in the wrong, not you.
You posted this before.
This is stupid shit that doesn’t matter. Ignore it.