i (18f) have a coworker who, every time I explain something in meetings, jumps in after me and rephrases it “in simpler terms.” except… I’m already speaking normally. literally just regular workplace English. I’ll say something like, “We need to adjust the timeline by a week,” and she’ll cut in with, “what she *means* is we’re pushing it back.” like??? that’s exactly what I said.
today she did it again and I said, “I don’t need my sentences translated, thanks.” not rude, just tired of being talked over. she got irritated and said I was “undermining her communication style” and now she’s telling ppl I “lashed out for no reason.” I honestly just want to finish a thought without her acting like my interpreter.
INFO: Why did you delete your other post?
I said NTA before, but YTA for making me read the same post twice.
Isn’t this just a blatant copy of a post from a few months ago?
A few hours ago, actually, and it’s the same user. The original post claimed it was her pronunciation being corrected.
And an ever so slightly different complaint than the one OP posted about this colleague interrupting a few hours ago
What job do you have at 18 where you’re in charge of a “deadline”?
If she’s doing this constantly and unnecessarily (I assume people aren’t staring at you in confusion, waiting for you to clarify), it’s not just annoying, it’s both rude and patronizing to you and people you are conversing with.
It assumes that either:
A. You’re incapable of communicating effectively with those around you
or
B. The people around you are incapable of understanding what you’re saying
(or both).
I’d reaffirm to her that you are not only capable of saying what you mean, but you are saying it in a certain manner *intentionally*. There are nuances that you’ve decided to communicate through the words you chose and she’s not helpfully clarifying as she thinks she must be doing, but is actually causing potential for more confusion.
If you’d meant to say it her way, you would have.
You’re all adults here. If the people you’re talking to have a difficult time understanding what you mean in a certain situation, they can ask for clarification. What she’s doing is “actively undermining *your* communication style”.
She’s not “communicating” by unnecessarily re-hashing what you just communicated before you’ve had the chance to finish. She’s interrupting.
ETA: I am curious, do you have other examples of times she’s done this? Why does she feel like she needs to do this? Maybe she just feels like she has nothing of her own to add, so she’s trying to tag-on to your actual contributions??
It sounds like in general you’re NTA and she’s overbearing, but to be fair to her, “adjust the timeline by a week” is ambiguous. Adjust how? Make it earlier? Make it later? “Push it back a week” is far clearer.
Right? Or add in 1 more week of focus groups and simultaneously reduce a week of prototyping so that there’s no change to the final project deadline? This was a particularly ambitious example.
*I’m sorry, I don’t understand what your post is about…. can you get your coworker to post on here explaining it more clearly please!.*
NTA
Start doing it to her. When she tells people you “lashed out for no reason” tell them “what she means is I asked her to stop being a reductive asshole and she couldn’t handle that”
Based on your example, YTA
“Adjusting the timeline by a week” doesn’t tell me if you mean it will be earlier or later.
“Pushing it back a week” tells me it is a week later.
I don’t know if every interaction is like this, but given that the example *you* picked was you being ambiguous, and her being clear, maybe you’re not getting important information across?
I’m going YTA because ‘adjust the timeline by a week’ isn’t clear and sounds like the sort of bullshitty business jargon that many people (including me) find unclear and irritating. Do you say things like ‘we need to leverage the synergy with some blue-sky thinking’ too?
>“We need to adjust the timeline by a week,” and she’ll cut in with, “what she *means* is we’re pushing it back.” like??? that’s exactly what I said.
It’s not though. “Adjust” just means change. You didnt clarify what change was needed, your colleague did.
If youre always being this ambigious with your wording then I can see why your co-worker is trying to make sure the message is getting across clearly. It’s still rude of her – she needs to come to you directly instead of cutting in when you speak like that. I’m going to say NTA but it does sound like you could improve.
Is this the same colleague you posted about who [corrected your pronunciation?](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/s/PSkzUYlSPD) Odd that they both correct your pronunciation and repeat what you say.