ok so i (21m) work part time at a resturant while im in school. its already kinda alot balencing work + classes but i make it work. i usually work weekends and i almost never call in sick or ask for days off.
last week i finally had a saturday free. like actually free free. no work no school nothing. i even told my manager earlier in the week i wasnt avaliable just in case and he said it was fine.
friday night one of my coworkers (22f) texts me asking if i can cover her shift saturday. i ask why and she just says she has an “emergency” and really needs someone. i asked if it was family or medical (not details) and she just said “personal stuff”.
i told her sorry but i couldnt because i already made plans and really needed the day off. she kept pushing and saying she *never* gets help from anyone and that if i dont cover she might get in trouble. i felt kinda bad but still said no.
then saturday morning i see her instagram story… shes at brunch with friends. like full outfit, mimosas, smiling, all of it. meanwhile another coworker texts me saying shes mad at me and telling people i “dont help anyone”.
later that day she texts me saying i embarrassed her and that just because she didnt tell me her emergency doesnt mean it wasnt real. i didnt reply bc i didnt wanna start drama and i was already annoyed.
now at work some coworkers are being cold and one of them said “you couldve just helped her out.” i feel like im being guilted for having boundries but also idk if i was too harsh about it.
aita?
NTA This is not on you. This is on your management team for making the restaurant so short staffed that workers have to be guilt tripped into coverage.
You’re NTA for not taking the shift but you shouldn’t have asked her why. Either you’re willing to take it or not. After asking her a few times about the emergency and not taking it, the message you’re sending is “if you don’t tell me your business, I’m not helping you” even though that wasn’t your intention.
Also seeing those pictures, I would’ve been pissed too but you also don’t know the context. Maybe a friend was depressed or in town last minute. Or maybe she’s just an ass and wanted to ditch work for brunch. But don’t give her a reason to make you look like an ass. In the future, either you can cover or you can’t
NTA, and your mistake – I’m afraid – was asking why your co-worker needed cover.
The response should just have been an instant straight up “Unfortunately I can’t do that, I have plans.” – end of discussion. Note, no apology. You are entitled to your free time. No questions, no explanations. It makes absolutely no difference whatsoever that your plans were for self care/day off slobbing about gaming or whatever you were doing.
Entitled people will always whine when you don’t do what they want – and try to get other people to pressurise or manipulate you into “compliance”. Be pleasant, pick up shifts when you feel like it/want to for other people and they’ll get over it.
Leave out the “I have plans”. No is a complete sentence.
Agreed, there are \*some\* niceties that are worthwhile/courtesy costs nothing. A flat ‘No’ is often considered as rude. ‘I have plans’ softens it and is inarguable.
Well, people still often still argue because some of them are entitled – my response to further nagging is generally “I know I pick up a lot, unfortunately I can’t do that one.” Still no apology, and makes the point that I DO pick up a lot so they can fuck right off with any intention of whining about me being unhelpful.
Agree. If you want to keep your days off don’t ask follow up questions and don’t off reasons why you can’t.
Just say I’m sorry I can’t cover. That’s it. The more you add the more wiggle room they think they have.
NTA but set your boundaries and stick to them.
NO sorry. Never “sorry”. Entitled people too frequently see this as “this is negotiable because I feel guilty”. Wording is everything. “Unfortunately” is truthful: it is unfortunate for THEM. I ain’t sorry though.
I’m Canadian, we have to say sorry after everything, sometimes before.
I would pull up the picture of her at brunch and ask them if it looks like she’s got an emergency. NTA
me too, but I’m petty that way.
Just say I didn’t know mimosas at brunch constituted an emergency.
NTA.
NTA. You should have screen shot her post and showed it to your coworkers lol
NTA. But question for your co workers. Why didn’t they help her out? Put up or shut up.
Tell the coworkers her ’emergency’ was mimosas with friends and getting fucked up : as such, not an emergency
NTA