I (26F) live in a newer apartment building with hardwood floors and concrete between levels. For the past few weeks, my downstairs neighbor has repeatedly complained about “impact” noise from my apartment, especially supposed “stomping.” Courtesy officers have come to my door twice, and the leasing office has contacted me multiple times.
I’m not throwing parties, playing loud music, or doing anything unusual. I don’t wear heels inside. I walk, cook, clean, exercise, and move around like anyone else. I genuinely don’t know what I’m supposed to change when I’m already doing nothing wrong.
The leasing office says she claims my “impacts” make her ceiling bow and shake her ceiling fans and light fixtures. Given the concrete between floors, I honestly don’t understand how that could be happening. At this point, it feels like she’s exaggerating or hyper-focusing on normal building movement.
After the second courtesy officer visit, she left a long note explaining the noises and then stated she has PTSD and that the vibrations scare her and her psychiatric “service” animal. While I don’t doubt she struggles, the note made me uncomfortable. It felt like she was placing responsibility for her mental health and her pet on me. I didn’t move in expecting to manage someone else’s trauma, and I’m not going to try to walk any differently. For all I know, she could be imagining things.
The note also felt accusatory, like she was implying I’m stomping just to bother her. At moments, it even felt like a comment on my body.
A few days later, I had people over and she called the police. Officers came to my door. It wasn’t even a party. We were just drinking and playing games.
After, I reported her note to the leasing office as harassment and said I’d seek a restraining order if she contacted me again. I don’t have good experiences with people who have “trauma,” and I’m not taking risks. Now I finally feel like I can breathe without the threat of being evicted for nonexistent noise.
Since then, I’ve felt angry and policed in my own home. I take firmer steps and shut cabinets harder. If she contacts me again, she’ll be the one to deal with the consequences. I shouldn’t have to tiptoe or monitor my body in my own apartment.
Sometimes when I hear her voice through the vents, I walk over there and move around deliberately, not to harass her, but to make it clear I’m not freezing my life for her comfort.
I also have a squeaky couchI planned to replace, but since she complained, I’m not fixing it even though it bothers me too.
I even considered reporting her emotional support animal to animal control because she keeps using it to justify everything, which feels manipulative. I didn’t, but I might if another complaint is made.
I understand apartment living requires compromise, but there’s a limit. I don’t think it’s reasonable to expect silence, and I shouldn’t have to change how I live because someone below me is extremely sensitive to noise.
AITA?
Yta if you make it harder on her on purpose.
Live your life.
Have parties if your want to but don’t stomp around and don’t smash doors just to be a pain.
ESH – leave her alone. You won the battle. Now you’re harassing her.
YTA
You’re being loud on purpose now. How does that not make you an AH?
>I understand that apartment living requires compromise
But have you tried to compromise? Do you wear slippers at home, do you have rugs in high traffic areas?
>Sometimes when I hear her voice through the vents, I walk over there and move around deliberately, not to harass her, but to make it clear I’m not freezing my life for her comfort
Sounds like you’ve done the opposite of compromise.
You don’t explain any supposed ‘compromises’ you did before other than ‘not wearing heels.’ If you’re still wearing shoes inside, and especially if you’re exercising, it’s very possible you were shaking her ceiling as she said.
Also, why the passive aggressive quotation marks for her service animal?
It sounds like you’ve had a dismissive attitude from the start, and now you’ve escalated to flat-out harassing her.
Editing to add extra AH points after reading OP’s response to the bot: OP admits they’re lying about how much they’re moving around in their apartment, and tried to defend their actions by calling them a ‘boundary.’
I’m dying to know what these exercises are, too. She doesn’t elaborate on that.
OP, YTA. You should have told her or the office to take videos to prove that you were making that much noise. If the ceilings are concrete, she shouldn’t be hearing that kind of stuff. If the apartments are well insulated enough in general, you shouldn’t be able to hear her talking.
There are more holes in this story than a slice of swiss.
>If the apartments are well insulated enough in general, you shouldn’t be able to hear her talking
Right?
OP doesn’t think their noise could *possibly* be traveling to the apartment below them… but they can hear when the downstairs neighbor is talking?
Quit being antagonistic intentionally. Before that NTA, but once you started being a massive dick on purpose you transformed into TA
You are an AH! purposely slamming doors and stomping to make noise. Hopefully, you get evicted. AH!
ESH. She took things too far, but you don’t need to retaliate against her. You’re being petty and childish, she is leaving you alone now, don’t be an AH on purpose.
ESH.
I was on your side for seven whole paragraphs, thinking to myself “This neighbor is just not suited to apartment living. There is *always* going to be low-level noise. If she has PTSD and can’t deal with that, she needs to live in a freestanding house. The neighbor is the asshole here.”
I started to waver on the eighth paragraph, when you said you were starting to “take firmer steps and shut cabinets harder”. But again, I thought: this is still normal living. You’ve just decided to refrain from being super-quiet. Still not the asshole.
The ninth paragraph is the point where you became the asshole. You’re not just “living your life”. **You’re deliberately doing things to make her life miserable.** You go over to the vent and walk around there when you don’t really need to. You want to replace your squeaky couch because it bothers you, but you’ve decided not to because you’re pleased that it would be bothering her too.
You’re even plotting ways to get her into trouble with some authority or other regarding her service animal, when its existence is not bothering you. That’s plain nasty.
Admit it – you’re now *enjoying* making noise that you don’t really need to, just to get back at her for her complaints! You’re *enjoying* dreaming up ways to try and make her life more unhappy than it already is!
You said you’re doing these things “*not to harass her*”, but that’s disingenuous. You ARE harassing her, and it’s beneath you. While you continue to harass her, you are the asshole too.
**UPDATE**: I overlooked your answer to the judgment bot the first time round. You wrote that you are “*lying about the amount of movement that I am doing in my own apartment*”. That’s it. You’ve just become a massive asshole.
Yta and a child.
And if not for any other reason YTA for dismissing PTSD and service dogs.
Yea YTA because of your passive aggressive responses now. You were NTA at the beginning but you are now. Stop being so nasty, put slippers on, get a floor rug and then at least you can say and know in your heart you’ve done all you can. Don’t be a bully.
What does “exercise” entail? It’s not the activities listed that would be wrong btw, it’s how it’s done. And when you say “i was just” “we were just” it does sound questionable.
Large gatherings even without a “party” can cause a ruckus. And the fact that you’re now deliberately causing a nuisance makes you malicious.
ESH.
Once you start deciding to not replace furniture that annoys you just because the noise might be bothering someone else you’ve moved from “just living your life” to “engaging in retaliatory behavior”
Once you start even thinking of reporting someone’s dog to animal control because the owner made a mention of their existence to you once, you can’t say you’re not trying to harass the owner.