So for context, I’m a teen and I have a twin sister, there’s quite a bit of conflict in our family because my sister has always been on the defiant side.
A few days ago, my dad picked me up from school (I had an extra curricular that day, so my sister was already home) when he started saying that if my sister wanted to get a boyfriend, she’d have to lose weight, now in no way is my sister overweight or anything of the sort, she looks larger but weighs and average weight for her height, and so he goes on this rant practically all the way home, I try to discourage this idea but clearly failed. Upon arriving home he said not to tell her. I felt very conflicted about this, though, so cut to yesterday, I was waiting with my sister for our mother to pick us up, and I told her what he had said, because it felt wrong for her to not know. She was obviously upset from this news, but later I discover she went and told our mother about this too, who went and confronted our father. Now he’s mad at me because I told my sister WJAT he said and broken his trust, even though he should have told her how he felt instead of me. But I still feel like a jerk for telling her, so AITA?
NTA. It’s not a child’s job to listen to their parents complain about each other or about their siblings. If the adults have any issues, they should discuss those issues with the person in question, not with the (twin) sibling.
You mom did exactly the right thing in confronting your father about his behaviors.
Maybe should have went to mother first without telling sister and hurting her feelings?
I only say this as my family has played this ‘telephone game’ of who said what all my life and it’s so destructive.
NTA. He broke your sister’s trust by judging her weight.
Youre a child, its your dad’s fault 100%. He should not be saying those things to you at all. This was not venting, this was mean. NTA
But you may( in general) as you get older that if you have nothing nice to say, its best keep silent. Listen, but dont spread.
Or for the the times you have the courage, disagree with people and share your thought. This is hard to do with teenage girls and there can be blowback, so watch out.
NTA
My thoughts, in no particular order.
* Don’t blame your sister for the conflict in your family. Kids rebel against asshole parents. If kids are misbehaving, it’s usually because there’s something worth behaving against.
* Your dad is an asshole.
* Why the fuck is your dad worried about your sister’s figure for dating purposes? Ew.
* If he’s ranting about this to you, there’s a good chance he’s already said plenty to her.
* No shit she was upset.
* Gee, I wonder why she’s misbehaving so much?
This is a tough situation, but it’s probably a good thing you told her. She should know that her dad is an asshole. She probably already knows this though. You could have not though. She probably already knows her dad is an asshole.
Both of you should go down to the library and get some books on healthy relationships, because you don’t have good role models and this stuff is important for life.
NTA, but your dad is. He can’t say hurtful things about your sibling and expect you not to pass it along. It’s also pretty inappropriate for him to be commenting on her body like that. You’re both children, you need to be focusing on developing your brains and growing into good adults. Not being hotter for potential boyfriends. Gross.
Nta
Your dad is though.
But you shouldn’t have said it to your sister, it’s just going to hurt her feelings. There literally was no good reason to tell her.
Tell your mom and let your parents deal with their own problems. Your father is a red flag with how he is talking.
What an absolute horrible thing of your dad to do to you, dumping that on you. That in itself is abuse, not to mention telling you not to say anything.
As someone who is old as dirt: TELL! Always tell on abusers! NTA love. You have your twinsies back, and so does mama.
NTA what an abusive prick
NTA – what sort of messed up parent not only says that but then adds pressure onto his kid to keep a secret from their sibling??
NTA
ESH. I would’ve gone to your mother to tell her directly and let her handle the situation. Telling your sister might seem like the right thing to do but she may now internalize the awful things your father said about her. She didn’t necessarily need to know exactly what he said and it was likely harder hearing it from her twin knowing he doesn’t say awful things like that about you. Your father sounds terrible and I feel bad for both of you.