Both 23m. My roommate likes cooking, and tonight he made chicken sandwiches with a creamy garlic parm sauce. They looked really good! I wanted to make my own sauce too that was sweet and acidic to cut through the heaviness, since I like that flavor combo. While he was plating I said I was gonna make a second sauce for mine, thinking about how good it was gonna be. But he immediately got offended and said “damn you’re not getting any more sauce after this” and was upset. I was confused and said I just wanted to add something to mine for a sweet/acid element to pair with it. He said I was basically saying I didn’t like his sauce and that I was gonna ruin what he made. I said I hadn’t even tried his sauce yet and that it looked amazing and I knew it would be good, I just also wanted to add another sauce as an addition to combo with it.
He said that was rude, and I understood where he was coming from, he spent time cooking this a certain way and I wanted to change it. I apologized but I still felt like he overreacted. It was still really good without my addition, but me wanting to add my own topping wasn’t me saying I didn’t like what he made, but I also understand how it could’ve come off as disrespectful to his cooking. AITA?
I’ve been on the other side of this. If someone makes something for you and you fix it, it’s very insulting. (Mine were often “I’ll share this but it has truffle on it, I’m warning you and you can’t complain about it.” “Okay. Ew, this is gross.”)
For me courtesy is eating something given to you without complaints or changes. If you don’t like it you don’t eat more. But it’s polite to eat the first one offered. If this was lacking you can suggest a recipe for the next time. It’s unsportsmanlike to add to the saucep’n.
I think NAH but you really need to know that it is in fact considered rude to add anything to a meal before you’ve even tried it.
Example being someone who adds salt and pepper to something they haven’t even tried yet. You haven’t even tried it. How do you know what it needs?
I get where you’re coming from that you had this exciting idea in your mind. But he went to the trouble of making this thing HE was excited for. You should have given him the consideration of trying it before moving on to your idea.
YTA. It would not have harmed you to show appreciation for the food that was made for you
YTA. It’s like going to someone’s party and then putting in your own playlist.
YTA. Making nice food for people and having them, before even trying the way you cooked it, immediately change it is an insult. Imagine cooking all day and someone covers it in tomato ketchup.
Instead, try it, compliment them and remark that you think this sauce would also go well with it if they’d be open to making it together next time.
YTA, and I’m surprised by all of the NTAs.
It’s a universal faux pas (I thought) to start adding your own sauce, seasonings, etc to someone’s else’s cooking before even tasting it. People put a lot of care into cooking and the flavors they create — and then you alter in without even trying it?
I mean, this isn’t a huge deal, and you’re not really an “asshole,” but that’s the binary we use on this board. You were in the wrong, and most people (that I know at least) would consider it rude.
Soft yta. Your roommate took the time and effort to make a nice meal for you. Did you even taste it?
You’re allowed to do whatever you want to your own food, but it is so rude to alter food someone else made for you without even trying it. On principle, I’m saying YTA.
YTA because he made you a hot sandwich and then when he’s plating you go and start cooking. 1) you didn’t even taste it to decide it needed something more
and also you decided to start making your sauce as he’s putting everything on the plate so not only will 2) your food be cold, but 3) now he is eating alone if he expected your company
YTA. If someone gave you a gift and you told them it would be better if they got you something else, would you consider that rude?
Your roommate put time and effort into this meal. Rather than be appreciative, you insulted his skill. I’m guessing you’ll be making your own meals from now on.
YTA. Imo what you did was not very considerate. If you like things a certain way, then you should cook the meal or make the suggestion before he starts cooking. Even then if he says no, then you kinda have to live with it.
Maybe you could cook him dinner with some of your preferences?
YTA, if I were him I wouldn’t cook for you anymore since you don’t seem to appreciate his cooking.
YTA. I read the title thinking this was going to be about salt or ketchup or something. “Make my own sauce that was sweet and acidic to cut through the heaviness” What is this pretentious bs? And without even trying it? It’s like you’re saying nice try, but I can do it better.
That’s a classless thing to do when someone cooks you a meal, YTA