Hi! I really need some advice on this situation.
I’m a freshman in college (18F) who lives with overprotective/religious parents. And when I say overprotective I mean they moved 4hrs WITH ME to my college city to make sure I don’t dorm and get exposed to "unholy" stuff. So me and my 2 friends (girl and guy) are planning to go to a concert this March. It’s in a city thats 1hr and 30min away so the plan was to drive there the day of, spend the night, then the next day drive back after exploring the city. This is because the concert will end late and we don’t want to drive in the middle of the night. Plus my friend’s family has points that let her to get a hotel room for a significantly cheaper price.
The issue is that the concert will be during Ramadan (for those who don’t know its a holy spiritual month for Muslims). Even though I’m a practicing Muslim (I pray, I fast, I don’t eat pork etc) I see no issue with going during this month. When I brought up the idea with my mom she started freaking out, crying, & yelling on saying how I’m disregarding my spiritual self. And how if I did this God will be mad at me and will never forgive me. However I disagree, there are a ton of bad and worse people in the world, what I’m doing isn’t going to kill me. Aside from that I’m already NOT HAVING the college experience. I’m not lying when I say it’s very depressing seeing my peers and other people my age living their youth while I can’t.
I really need help, what can I say to my mom that would make her more likely to let me go, and am I really a bad daughter for wanting to go???
NTA, is she expecting you to not work or travel at all during Ramadan after you graduate? You can be a practicing Muslim and still live a life. To me it sounds like this is her projecting onto you. There’s no easy way to have the conversation with her, unfortunately. She will be hurt if you stand up for yourself, because you’re telling her that you won’t be HER. And that’s hard to hear. But you deserve to be your own person and find your own relationship with your faith. I suggest talking to a spiritual leader or other member of your faith community for advice, someone she respects, if possible. Good luck!
NTA. It’s time to fly free. Let the parental expectations go.
Better to refuse to ask for forgiveness than to be refused permission.
Unless the repercussions are extreme, just go.
NTA.
NTA.
What would your mom do if you went to the concert? You’re a big girl now. You can go to a concert if you want to.
You are right ,but the reality is her parents could stop supporting her. Until she is able to support herself she is in a very difficult position.
NTA. You are an adult who can make her own decisions. Sorry that your home situation is so overbearing.
NTA. You are not a bad person for wanting to go to a concert. What to say to mom? Very little. Put her on an Information Diet! The less said to her about your social activities, the better. She can’t freak out, cry and judge you if she doesn’t know what you’re doing…