AITA Friends invite us over for dinner and they are notoriously late for everything. Last dinner they said 730 eat and we ate at 9pm. They said dinner at 6 and I confirm with “6 not 7 lol” explaining our one year old girl will lose it as it’s bedtime and we will have to leave around 6:30 or 7 if lucky. Wife says I’m an asshole for dictating dinner time. AITA?
Edit- we are getting there 4:15 for the kids to play!
It would depend on what you said to your friends.
Your wife is right, it’s rude for a guest to dictate things to the host. And YTA if you try to do so. You’re invited, you either accept or decline.
It’s fine to say “we’d love to, but that time doesn’t work for us. We need to be home by 7 to put our daughter to bed.” They then can either graciously move the dinner time up, or graciously accept that you can’t make it.
Also, if you’re visiting someone’s home for dinner, it’s normal to eat about an hour or so after the invite time. Typically, people socialize for a bit before sitting down to dinner.
I mean. Ntah but just dont do dinner with these people? Like. Suggest lunch, drinks, snacks, obviously dinner doesn’t work so don’t do it.
You’re accepting an invitation to go to their house to eat at 6 when you think you’ll have to leave at 6:30?
That’s totally unreasonable behaviour.
Did you tell them this and give them the option to say “actually let’s do something another time”?
I assume a typo – nobody goes round someone else’s house to eat dinner at 6 yet needs to leave at 630 latest 7. That is a take out fast food timescale.
It’s fine to flag to friends that you have a hard “need to leave time” (make the excuse of the babysitter if you will), but a half hour “sitting” is lunacy.
Perhaps lunch would work better for.you?
YTA unless you’ve mistyped.
You are going to go have dinner at 6:00 and bolt out the door at 6:30? YTA for thinking that is acceptable.
NTA. Friends would understand your schedule and if they want to get together they should plan it on days when their schedule can align with yours.
Late friends always think time is fake. You weren’t rude, you were realistic. Your wife might just be used to their chaos at this point
YTA don’t make dinner plans outside your home or get a babysitter if your child has such an early and strict bedtime
The point is: dinner at 7:30 but finally served at 9:00. Don’t have to be a child to be upset or hangry about that!
Stop accepting. When then they ask why, tell them. When they stop inviting, you’ll know why. Yta regardless.
NTA. I used to be friends with a couple that was notoriously late for everything. They joked about it.
Then they got engaged. I arranged a party in a private room of a restaurant owned by a friend that was a ten-minute walk from where they lived. Drinks were starting a 7, dinner at 8, etc… Despite multiple texts that said they were leaving now, on their way, well . . . in just a minute really, etc…
They finally showed up at 8:45 as everyone else was finishing dinner. They got pissy about it. No one was sympathetic.
NTA, you didn’t dictate what time to eat, you told them what time you will have to be leaving.
I wouldn’t accept a 6 p.m. invite if I was leaving at 6:30. I also wouldn’t keep accepting invites for someone who was that late
I think the best solution here is to just say to your friend. Listen I can’t do dinner with you because I have to be home at 6:30 for something with my daughter. Hope you have a good time.
This isn’t even about her being late to dinner. It’s the fact that you really can’t afford to go out that night anyway. Showing up to someone’s house and then leaving in like 20 minutes is kind of rude.