*overly* sensitive lol — Basically, long story short. My roommate constantly gets upset with me, gives me the silent treatment and then will confront me saying that the littlest things I do bother her. I try not to invalidate her feelings because that would not be fair for me to do, but it’s getting to the point where I feel like i’m walking on eggshells and everything I do bothers her. For example, one time she got mad at me when we went out and she drove and she asked me to pay for parking. I told her sure, but also I was like just an fyi you haven’t paid me back for the uber or starbucks I bought you. And then she went off on me that I need to be nicer are more grateful to people. Another time, she got mad at me that I after we went to the gym I told her I was gonna go inside immediately cuz I was feeling light headed, so I couldn’t wait for her to like get her stuff from the car bc I genuinely was feeling like I was about to pass out. She got so mad at me like genuinely she was upset that I didn’t wait for her. But, honestly I really didn’t think it was the deep? I just feel like it’s now affecting me because even when I start to defend myself she just constantly says “well that’s not how I feel and your invalidating me and your not respecting my boundaries” — also I want to say that I have apologized many times for scenarios like the things above, however I’ve never heard and “i’m sorry” coming from her mouth when I explain my feelings. It feels like she can do no wrong, but everything I do is a problem 🙁
We’re it me, every single time I’d say “I’m sorry you feel that way.” And leave it at that. They get enough of those in a row and they’ll lose their mind.
Nta seems like you need to help but she doesn’t.
Why would she get mad at you for being light-headed? I can see how that’d be rude otherwise but if you were genuinely gonna pass out what can you do. It’s hard to tell from just a few examples but I’d say NTA for that alone.
go watch dr ana’s video on youtube from yesterday about how we need to stop using therapy speak, which is exactly what your friend is doing.
NTA she owes you for two different things and she’s mad you mentioned it? GTFO.
Gray rock the heck out of her. “Hmm oh interesting”
No reaction of any kind.
NTA Your roomie is super sensitive. Distance yourself until your lease is up.
nta, but what really concerns me is that even in you being in distress (light headed) she still made it about herself… yikes..
NTA – your roommate sounds like the world revolves around them and their feelings. Any type of inconvenience or upset you feel is invalidated or ignored because again it doesn’t revolve around your roommate.
Ai
NTA. Next time say tell her that she invalidated you first.Be ready to move out when the lease is up.
ESH
Live as roommates, stop comingling lives.
You pay for you, she pays for herself.
Be cordial, but stop sharing anything not in the roommate agreement.
She us nit a friend, nor is she friendly.
NTA.
Your room mate sounds like she has been the golden child growing up and hasn’t learned that she is not the centre of the universe. You are allowed to have boundaries and be respected too.
NTA – I’m assuming you both are young here. OP you need to learn how to be more assertive and stop appeasing her. Stop enabling her. Your roommate needs to learn how to communicate effectively and learn distress tolerance at minimum. Can your roommate communicate what boundaries are? Boundaries are for ourselves. It sounds like she’s trying to place rules on other people which is not going to work. Additionally there’s a difference between validating/being supportive and enabling. You could also start by asking your roommate if she can define the differences between accountability and a personal attack. She sounds like she’s got a huge hang up with learned helplessness. Enable it and it will get worse. You’re not responsible for your roommates emotions. Her emotions are her responsibility and if she’s this fragile then she needs to see a mental health professional.
NTA. Your roommate sounds entitled- they’re allowed to not pay you for things, but they have no trouble reminding you to pay them for things. It also sounds like they can’t handle constructive criticism…