I’m in college, computer science. A relative of mine works in a famous multinational company and basically told me that if my grades and skills are fine he would get me an internship this summer. I was going to work hard regardless so i maintained a good cgpa of around 9.
I still have 2 years until i graduate so this is just a summer internship.
I sent my mark sheet to him as he had asked. Now, i told my friend about this and he asked me to recommend his name as well. Mind you his cgpa was like 8 and secondly, my relative can’t just keep adding students.
I thought he was just kidding but he repeated that a few times after that. I told him that my uncle cant just do that.
He said i was benefiting by “cheating” in the internship process because of this relative advantage. Sure, I’m getting an opportunity easily but i did maintain the cgpa.
So now he’s basically acting like i did him wrong. He told me to at least talk to my uncle about it for his sake but I don’t want to, because it wound sound weird to my uncle. “He’s trying to use me to get his friend in too”.
NTA you got lucky AND put the work in, your friend did neither and is jealous/wants to take advantage. If they show this type of behvaiour in other situations as well, it might be time to reconsider that friendship.
NTA but may i recommend the following:
‘hey, so I asked but my Uncle doesn’t know you and isn’t comfortable recommending someone he doesn’t know because this is his actual job and it reflects on him so he is taking a chance even on me and he made me work for it. nothing personal, he wouldn’t recommend INSERT HERE for the same reason’
Welcome to the real world. Connections and networking help create opportunities for the prepared. He lacks the connection and the preparation.
You kind of are. Here is why: you do not owe your friend internship, neither does your uncle. However, there is a very polite way of asking your uncle for consideration. You can simply say “hey, if there are other spots you may want to consider….) I don’t see how your uncle could misinterpret that. You don’t need to try to influence the decision, simply suggest it if the company is looking to fill more spots. He can say yes or no. Asking never hurt anyone. Something tells me if the situation was reversed, you’d feel the same as your friend. In my opinion.
NTA…he complains about you “cheating”, but at the same time wants you to cheat for him.
Do not recommend this person, they are already showing you signs of animosity. Find a reason to change the subject when he brings it up.
NTA. As much as I would love to say otherwise because nepotism, that’s kind of how things work. Besides, your grades are better than your friends.
Your cgpa is 9 but you arent savvy.
First of all, why share this kind of things with friends, knowing that they could potentially be envious of you having the advantage?
Secondly, just let your uncle know: I have a friend who is keen. Then pass the contact. And let your friends know that you have done as he asked but let him know there are no promises that he would be called up.
Why did u take it upon yourself to screen your friend’s suitability? For all you know, there could be one slot for him. You’d never know. Your uncle wouldnt think the way you thought because social networks is a common way people get opportunities. Thats why people spend time networking.
Networking is so critical these days – my sister had to intern for a certain number of hours as a requisite for her engineering degree and we banked on mum’s work contacts and business friends to get her in the right direction as well as cut down on the time and stress.
She still had to go through interviews and prep – worked hard as hell but it definitely made her search way less stressful as she came through recommendations made by mum’s colleagues, word of mouth.
Mum works in recruitment and we went in with her from an early age, learning how to make friends and links. They knew us since we were kids and mum did the same for their kids when time came.
It’s never too early to network and create vital links.
Definitely NTA – but your friend needs a reality check, he cannot piggyback on your connections, your uncle doesn’t know him as well as you therefore it would be a hit to his career reputation if your friend messes up majorly.
You can however ask your uncle for advice on how to navigate the situation, guaranteed he will know what to do.
First, what a recommendation usually does for you is to get your details reviewed more carefully, instead of just culled. Sometimes it gets you past the first round of applicants, but there’s no guarantee you move up past that, unless the uncle is the one making the decisions. But a recommendation is also a person vouching for someone, and it sounds like your friend doesn’t have the relationship, much less the grades, to ask that, and I wouldn’t be comfortable writing that kind of recommendation if I were being asked by a mere friend of a relative.
Second, I actually would have the chat with the uncle. Tell him everything, including your discomfort, and your belief that the friend doesn’t have the grades, and ask his advice. Uncle might take over from there, and reach out to the friend himself, to be helpful, to explain the process, or to suggest some other places to look.
Just LIE and say your uncle could only recommend one person. Also, your uncle doesn’t even know him. Don’t be mad at your friend. I’m sure all of us would ask for the same thing if we were in his shoes.
Woo nepotism!
NTA, but there is a possible way out of your dilemma without looking like the bad guy, and that is: let your uncle and the business he works for be the bad guy.
You said your friend asked you to recommend him to your uncle. You can’t *recommend* your friend, because you think (privately, and quite reasonably) that his grades aren’t high enough.
You can convey that to your friend without making it sound personal: “Sorry, I have a policy of not *recommending* anyone for any job or internship. That means anyone, not just you. If for whatever reason the arrangement doesn’t work out, it might jeopardize our friendship, and I’d hate for that to happen. But I suggest you *submit* your application to him, and let him or someone else in the business decide. Then you’d pass or fail on your own merits, and it would have nothing to do with me.”
You can then tell your uncle, if you want, that the guy who submitted the application is your friend. You could even say candidly to your uncle “Just between you and me, I don’t think Friend’s marks are high enough for you to take him on. And I’m definitely NOT asking for any favors just because he’s my friend. But ultimately it’s your decision, Uncle, not mine. I will not be offended if you say no.” Or you could say nothing at all to your uncle, and let the application genuinely stand on its own.
Then Uncle can contact your friend and say “Unfortunately, we can only offer internships to people with a CGPA of \[whatever\] or higher, and your haven’t met that requirement. I’d suggest you work hard and lift your marks and try again the following summer.”
So your friend would have no valid reason to be annoyed with you personally. It would be the business that rejected him, not you.
Mind you, he still *might* be annoyed with you for not recommending him, so your friendship still might be at risk. But you wouldn’t have been the asshole, which is the question you came here with.
NTA
But i do feel bad for your friend
Speaking as someone from a poor family with no connections it kinda stings knowing that you have to work twice as hard as others who have grad jobs lined up for them at daddy’s accounting firm